How can I get a neighbor to stop approaching me?

Question

I live in a small condo bldg. There is an elderly man (he's 80, I'm 45) who lives 3 units away that is a bit overly eager. At first, I would politely say hello when he would greet me in passing. Then one day, I went to a restaurant in town and sat at the bar having a glass of wine. He walked in when I was there and he sat near me and immediately bought me a glass of wine. I don't like to accept drinks from men, but he seemed like a "nice old guy" and he was a neighbor, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I became uncomfortable when he offered to drive me home. Since then, he has been kindof forward with me. I mentioned I was unemployed and he came to me another time while I was in the bar and said he would pay me to organize his personal files. Well, I didn't want to go in his house, so I said I would think about it. Another time, I was returning from the bar and mentioned to him (I ran into him in the lobby) that it was my birthday and right away he said oh go back with me, I will buy you a drink. I declined. The next time I saw him at the bar, I changed my seat and moved away from him. He had the bartender send me a drink anyway. Now when I see him in the lobby of the condo bldg, I turn and walk away. He usually says "hey, don't walk away, I want to talk to you". I've really had enough. What can I do to get this guy to leave me alone? I have not said specifically, I don't want to be friends, but I don't think that would do any good.

Answer 1

call the police hes constanley harrasing you and he could be psco path you nevr know right  

Answer 2

just be honest with him and tell him you feel uncomfortable with being around him.

Answer 3

Question how is an unemployed person able to afford to be in a bar all the time you can't always be buying your own drinks and why not just go to a different bar!

Get on his side and see what he is worth maybe the gold digger part of you may find some friendship with him after all. I am sure the old coot will kick it soon.

Answer 4

Sounds to me that you frequent the bar to much.  Stay home, look for a job that way he wont see you.

Answer 5

very easy, either one work as good as the others. number 3 work the fastest time wise.

1. go near him every time you want to f**t.

2. speak to him after you ate garlic.

3. touch your tonsil after every drinks he buys you, make sure to puke on his direction.

he sure avoid you like a plague

Answer 6

I find a generous coating of poo does the trick! I'm joking of course...or am I?

Anyway, let's be serious my friend. What I would do is creep up behind him and startle him with a loud, truculent noise. With a bit of luck and impeccable timing, the old git will snuff it there and then! Bingo!

That's How for now.

Answer 7

So, a neighbor, whose social circle is most likely dead, reaches out to you and you treat him like this?

You drink in a bar, therefore he assumes it's ok to buy you a drink in a bar.

You say you're unemployed so he makes up a job for you so that it doesn't look like he's treating you as a charity case. (do you REALLY think he needs someone to "organized his personal files"?)

You told him it was your birthday and then got offended when he tried to buy you a drink?

I hope when you're 80 someone treats you this way.  You deserve it.

Answer 8

Maybe he is just lonely.  

He's 80 yrs old, can he really be a threat to you?  

If this man bothers you this much then you should be upfront about it, share your feelings w/ this man, let him know that you are not interested in being his friend or anything more than that.  

Please, be nice about it, though - maybe he has no one left in this world.

Would it really hurt you to be his friend?

Everyone needs someone....

Answer 9

Dont be too hasty, he could be rich and you could  get in his will...

Answer 10

wittygee, just tell him point-blank that he makes you uncomfortable and if this (him following you, etc. continues), you'll file a restraining order against him.  Good luck!!!

Answer 11

Hmm, tough spot you're in.

As old as this gentleman is (and it sounds like he's single / possibly a widower), he is desperate for a connection.  I'm sure buying you drinks, trying to hang out...it's all this poor old man trying to forge a relationship he probably doesn't have in his life right now.

But, in your defense, you have every right to live your own life without being accosted every time you walk into the building.  While socailly awkward, your only real choice is to tell him that you prefer to be a bit of a loner when you go out, and that while you appreciate the company sometimes you just need that alone time to center yourself.

Good luck!

Answer 12

I would say, he I don't mean to be rude but I feel as though you are invading my personal space, I would just like you to leave me alone. He obviously thinks you will date him. Just because he is old in his flesh doesn't mean he is old in his mind. He probably uses his age to deflect from his perversion or obsession with you. Don't think you can't be staight with him because he looks like a lost puppy, he knows what he is doing. Lots of experience.

Answer 13

Sounds like you spend a lot of time in the bar...  Either change bars or stay home.

Answer 14

Move to China I don't think he'll follow you there.

Answer 15

two words, "Sugar Daddy"

Answer 16

The obvious problem is that he is too comfortable with you and with speaking to you, so you have to purposely make it un-comfortable. I don't mean to sound like a d**k but make a sexist/racist comment near him or just simply be a d**k until he goes away.

Answer 17

I think he likes you!!!

tell him to p**s off

umm tell him your busy and have to do something when he comes up to you

Answer 18

honestly, be honest. the worst he will do is leave you alone hes probally just a old man looking for company in lonely times just be polite and mature about it

Answer 19

Tell him you have a very jealous boyfriend and don't want to talk to other men.  

Answer 20

Tell this story to one or two of your male friends who are close to you and get them to help you by deliberately being present with you at the bar or the condo to let your "neighbor" realize that you are no longer "available".

Answer 21

Find a new bar.

Answer 22

he seems not to understand your avoidance.  you need to be honest with him and tell him that you are not interested in a friendship.

Answer 23

If you be friends with him he may die soon and you'll be in his Will and get lots of money!

Answer 24

Turn it around and start asking him for money and expensive wines. Be aggresive and he will probably back off when his wallet is empty. Poor old guy might not be around for long anyway.

Answer 25

One day soon the shoe will be on the other foot.  Unless you find someone (or some other organization) else to occupy this man's time, as you seem so put out by the human contact he is craving, you are IT.

Answer 26

Old people are crazy. hire an assasin.

Answer 27

Ignore him..no hello...no good morning..no nice day...if you are in the elevator w/him do not say a word.

thats that!

Answer 28

He just sounds like a lonely old man.  Doesn't sound like he's trying to do anything but be friendly, I don't think he's coming on to you.  You already have so many friends, that you don't have room for another?  You can always just tell him you don't have time to talk right now without being rude.  

Answer 29

He sounds like a lonely old man.  Give him a break.

Answer 30

I think you need to tell him that you are not interested in him as a friend or any thing more...and say it in an aggressive tone so he get the picture...and tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone you will be forced to take legal action.  And let him know that he is creeping you out. and if he don't get it then...kick in the nuts...guys normally listening after that...(jk...about that part unless you feel the need to.)

but with guys like this being nice doesn't work...trust me...I have been through it so many times.

Answer 31

tell him you suffer from chronic gas

OR

everytime you see him, immediately slop down like your sick or in a bad mood and then try to avoid him, then if he says stop or proceeds to try and get your attention just wave him off without looking at him and say "im in a bad mood, i dont want to talk" and keep walking. the key is to keep walking as you give your excuse for avoiding the man.

if you continue to do this, he will most likely loose intrest or get the hint and leave you alone and admire you from a distance.