How can I get along better with my 13 year old son?

Question

My son often acts as if I am the enemy. If I ask him to cut the grass. He only wants to cut the front lawn then acts as if its torture to cut the whole yard. He calls me annoying and offers very little information about his days. I rarely yell. I am not demanding. It seems like the less I do expect the less he will do and the more I expect the more resentful he is.

Answer 1

It's normal espcially for a boy.. he sounds a bit lazy.. like me.. he is going through the typical stage in a teenagers life when you get slightly rebellious .. and the bit about not offering much information about his days.. well this is a universal thing for all men who dont generally enjoy small talk and chit-chat like women do....

your son doesn't sound different to any other teenager but you should try disciplining him more, even if you dont enjoy shouting at him you need to be firm but fair..

give him warnings and issue threats... it depends what you want to be.. being too lenient will not help anyone

GL

x

Answer 2

Just give him abreak and stop nagging him all the time or reward him and buy something he really wants at the moment and then he'll stop treating you like your the enemy.

Answer 3

Welcome to teenager years.I did the samething to my parents. Its not that you are the enemy but you are so uncool to him you are mom. Every kid thinks that.But I will tell you this.If he doesnt want to do his duties around the house ground him. He may be becoming a man but there is no reason to be a butt to mom all the time. I hate to say it he will say I hate you or he will try to keep things from you.But just relax dont pry but try to be there for him and just keep a hand on him enough that he is being a responsible young man but not so much he curls up in a ball and never says anything to you.Good luck

Answer 4

i guess its just a stage

Answer 5

Leave him alone im only 2 years older than your son so i know what hes doing. I promise you although i havnt seen ur son im sure he doing nothing wrong but just wants to feel independant for a while and have nothing to do with others.

Just a phase

Answer 6

It is common to act this way, but you can plan for some time for the two of you to do something together where you can just talk.  Pick things he enjoys so you can get good communication going.   Understand his need to have some privacy, but plan some special time.  This will help you both bond and he can have some space too.

Answer 7

He's going through puberty and at the stage where your parents are your worst enemy. Give him some space. A lot of teenagers don't like to talk to their parents. He won't be like this forever. My younger brother was the same way when he was 13, and as he got older, he grew out of it.

Answer 8

Hmm. I don't know. I have a 13 year old  too. And all kids don't act like that. Just some. My kid is a sweetheart, although he has his days. Where's dad? Are there any other sublings? Maybe you're putting TOO MUCH responsibilty on him. How big is that yard? Sit and talk to him and ask him...say ''Is it something that I've done?'' ''Do I say or do things that you don't like'' Maybe then he'll open up to you. But do ask because it is something that you need to know. AndI guess it's not good to bug all the time, but sometimes they just need for you to ask what's wrong because they don't know how to come out and say anything or may even think that you don't care about what he's going through. DO ASK though, regardless of what these other teens think. They may be speaking from a teens point of view, but with all the suicide, homicide and bullying and drugs, and other stuff going on with our kids nowadays, you can't afford not to ask. So please do. It may be a phase, but let him tell you that.

What does he like to do? Take him to his favorite spot and let it be all about him one day. My son loves to hang out with me, so don't listen to that ''no one wants to hang out with their mom'' BS. I teach my kids to be them and not listen to what other kids have to say because they are always going to have something to say. So take him out. And talk to him. Good luck! God Bless!

Answer 9

I heard a non-conventional way of dealing with this on a series of podcasts.  

When he shirks his duties no matter what:

1.  You do them (this sounds crazy at first stay with me here)

2.  When he wants something or to go somewhere explain to him he gets to do your jobs.  Since he did not mow the lawn or whatever you asked him to do you did it. "Well sweetie, you took too long but since I spent all that time doing X I don't have time to do my jobs so now you will do XYZ."   Now he needs to do laundry, dishes, vacuuming, something you know he doesn't like.  It really does work if you stick to it.  He has to get your jobs done before he can do anything.   I told my friend about this and she tried it on her son and it worked well.  Her son was so shocked and she didn't make it a choice... so he did it.  It was also a plus for her lol.  The key is to not make it a big deal just a that's- the- way- it- is tone.

As far as getting along better, men and boys respond to respect.  Even though he does not act like it that's what he wants.  All men desire respect from the women in their lives as well as their buddies.  Praise him in the good that he does and make sure he knows that you don't only love him but you respect him.  He will respond to that... even if it's deep down at first ;)

He has to learn to respect you and then you guys can have fun together, not the other way around.  You have to be the parent and teach him right from wrong.  It's our job to groom our children so that they can cope in the world when they are out on their own.  

13 is a tough age for both genders, they are going through a lot of changes and if dad is not in the picture your son should have a strong male role model so he can learn to be a man, how to treat a women and so forth.  

He may be resentful BUT when you push him and stick with it he will have more respect for you.  He may not show it right away but it needs to happen.  If you are worried about his resentment it will get worse and the older he gets the less you will be able to do to change that.  Kids need well established rules and although they don't like it... that's what they need.  If he does not he will walk all over you and actually resent you when he is older because in real life he won't be able to do whatever he wants and it was your job to teach him.  

Here is a great website that offers a lot of helpful info on raising kids.  There is also a great book called "Bringing Up Boys" that is very beneficial as well.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/

It's tough being a mom but it's so important so kudos for all you do!  

Best of luck and blessings