How can I get my 3 yr old daughter more engaged in potty training?

Question

My daughter turned 3 last month. She seems interested in the potty, but there are a few issues. 1. She can go without pull-ups for hours and not have an accident. She can control her bladder very well. 2. She tells me when she does number one or two in the pull-up, takes it off, throws it away and brings me a new one and wipes to change her. 3. I tried to do the whole big girl panties but she just took those off when she wet them like the pull-ups. 4. I have tried to praise her in all ways I can think of, it doesn't seem to help. 5. She has her own pooh bear potty, but refuses to sit on it. She thinks its just another toy. (she sits on the big potty) All signs point to her being easily potty trained but she has never went "potty" in the toilet. I have been trying to get her trained for about a year now. When I ask her to go potty, she will sit on the toilet, but when she sits on the potty she will not go and as soon as she has her pull-ups back on she wets them. I take her to the bathroom about every 30 mins to an hour. She is dry when I take her, but wets right after the pull-up is back on. We have tried sitting there till she goes, but she can literally sit there for 30 mins or longer and do nothing till she gets a pull-up/panties back on. Any ideas on how to engage her more? I think she should be trained by now. And I get seriously criticized by everyone for her not being trained yet. She is a very smart 3 year old and I have no explination as to why she is not trained yet. And yes I am a first time mom and she is my only child.

Answer 1

The more a child feels pressured to potty train the more they will rebel against it.  It's said that it should completely be a pressure and stress free event...they'll start to associate it with negativity.

Pull ups do NOT work, as far as I know.  I'm not sure why people decided that taking the tape off of a diaper and calling it something else would make a difference to a child.

My daughter Megan is very sensitive and loved Dora.  So I bought Megan some Dora panties...told her if she tinkled on Dora that it would probably hurt Dora's feelings.  She looked at me very seriously and said, "I won't Mommy, I won't tinkle on Dora."  She never had one accident.

Just know this, if she goes once, just once, you'll see it turn around very quickly.  Good luck...one day you'll be telling her fiance about this ... ;)

Answer 2

I am in the exact situation, my 3 year old refuses to use the potty or toilet. She is happy weeing in her big girl undies, which she loves, is not interested in rewards that work for other things (stickers, chocolate etc), can sit in there for one hour quite happily and then when she gets off goes immediately etc etc. I'm sure like me you do not show your frustration with her, so it's really difficult to understand why it's not working.

I have spoken to her teacher who have reassured me that she will go, and it will be very easy to get her to, when she is ready. As her teachers have seen many children go through this over many years I trust their advice. They tell me not to worry and that as long as we keep talking to her about the process and going through the motions it will work - one day.

In regards to everyones comments just ignore them.

Answer 3

throw away the pull ups, just big girl panties feel worse when she wets and get a doll that wets, and let her take the doll to the potty let her give the doll a treat when the doll uses the potty let her praise the doll on using the potty, etc and then say she can be like the doll too  

Answer 4

I would take her to the bathroom when she's doing the potty dance then I would read to her while she was on the potty.  If she goes on the potty give her a treat.  After doing this a couple of times she'll know if she goes on the potty more then she'll get your praise. If she does not go on the potty do not get discouraged.  But read to her while she's on the potty it has to be interesting or she won't be distracted and go.  Also if she does not go and this happens more then when she does.  Limit some of her privlages like television.  Put up the videos in a place she can't get to them if she knows that you are not letting her watch her movies because she's not going on the potty then she'll probably go on the potty more often.  This is called You can't have it till you do it trick.  My parents did it to me.  If none of these Ideas work talk to your peditrician for ideas.  Or to someone with kids already pottitrained.  

Answer 5

3 years old LOVES stickers.

reward her with sticker and say " yay you did it!" with claps



If she dislike her pooh bear potty, then let her make it pretty with stickers or something that makes it fun.

She should feel proud and comfortable.

Answer 6

watch for signs that she has to pee.

make a chart and give her rewards---I had a bag of very small cheap daily rewards at first for no accidents in a day.

then a better reward for no accidents all day--

document the time of day she goes every time-whether it is an accident or a successful attempt.

At first you will need to take her every 2 hours, upon waking, before bath and after,before bed, before and after meals etc...

just document it she probably actually has a fairly easy to tell schedule

when you notice similarities especially in number 2 take her a little bit before those times until you get it right.

good luck

Answer 7

Hi there,, I had the same question a few weeks ago my daughter is 27 months old and is too very smart for her age, she is now getting the hang of it this is what I had to do and you MUST be very patient and not show her that you get frusturated if you do .. I had the small potty for her which she refuses to use so I just asked her if she wanted to potty on the big potty she said yes. Then she would just sit there .So finally in the bathroom we have stickers that we have high up on a shelf where she cant reach and also a little tin can that is sparkly and red that has mms in it. So after she gets up in the morning I tell her that she needs to go potty and I put her on the potty. Then if she goes she gets the treats if she does not go then she can have like 1 m&m candy just for trying. Then I tell her next time if she goes in the potty she can have a few M&Ms and a sticker -- LOng story short just keep bringing her in there and reward her a little something just for trying.. When she does go (it will happen) make a big deal about it and do a silly potty dance or something. I had a harder time with getting her to do number 2 but once she did number one , we started working on number 2 and i even took her pullups after she did number 2 in them and plopped the number two in he potty and said bye bye p**p, andnow she gets excitd about saying bye bye to her businessin the toilet!!

Answer 8

If you wait until she is ready, she will go. The more you worry about it and press the issue, the longer it will take. I would take a break from the potty business..put everything away for a week or two. Bring the potty back out and see if she's interested. If not, put it away and try again. The pull ups aren't a good idea. They are great for night and nap times but can confuse  little ones because they can't tell the difference between that and a diaper.  Buy the waffle type training underpants and let her wet them. She'll get the idea pretty quick ;)

Don't worry about others criticism. Everyone is an 'expert' when it comes to parenting. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

My advice to you is she'll do it when she's ready.

I have 5 kids and what I've learned with them is to not pressure them into it or it will take longer. Give her time and she'll be a big girl.  :)