How can I get my 6 year old to want to learn?

Question

My 6 year old son is being held back in Kindergarten for the 08-09 school year. I have been trying my hardest to get him to sit down and practice with me. I've made up games, added things that he likes,etc and he just DOES NOT want to learn. I've went back to the easy basics with him because he does know them and I thought it might encourage him. He still doesn't want to. I'm at the point where I've taken away the tv and other things he likes to do. He had a hard time keeping up with the other children in his class and was very shy when it came to his school work because his teacher was a nightmare. There were things he'd do for me but not her. He was a preemie so, there's a good possibility that he may have a learning disability but, his pedi says give him time. What can I do? Please help!! Could it be his age? He didn't turn 6 until June.

Answer 1

Don't worry that he's been held back in K.  I'm a teacher, and have held back a few kids in my time, for what sounds like to be the same reasons.  It is not only possible that he is struggling because of his age, the fact that he's a preemie, and that he didn't have the best rapport with his K teacher, it is EXTREMELY likely that this has much to do with his problems.  He undoubtedly has developed significant anxiety about school, and this is very understandable.  Remember that learning is achieved in MANY ways, not just with "book learning".  For the remainder of the summer, you may just want to completely abandon the educational games, workbooks, flashcards and whatever else you've been trying.  Your son seems to be telling you in more ways than one that he isn't ready for it.  Follow his natural lead as far as what activities he wants to pursue and look for teachable moments.  For example, go for a walk outside and notice the shapes some clouds make - share your thoughts with your son.  If he is responsive, ask him what he sees in the clouds.  Ask him what he thinks clouds are made of - who knows where the discussion will go!  Try to see the forest for the trees.  Once his school anxiety settles, so will he, and the learning will come.  Try to reinforce the idea that both learning and his happiness are  the most important things to you and his family.  None of this means that TV shouldn't be taken away.  However, instead perhaps of it being a consequence for not doing his work, have it be a reward when he engages in any learning activity - sorting recycling or a cooking project.  When he begins his new school year, downplay it with him so as not dredge up those old negative feelings - he knows what school's about and he knows it's starting soon!  Partner with his new teacher from the VERY BEGINNING to come up with a plan for your son so you are both on the same page.  If indeed it does turn out that he has some learning difficulties, you'll cross that bridge when you get to it.  Most likely, he just is emotionally not ready yet, and simply could care less!  Have faith, have hope, and relax.  It will work itself out.  Good Luck!

Answer 2

Stop trying to force your child to learn.  HE isn't the problem.  Forcing a child to learn is only going to result in them HATING education, and they wind up not WANTING to learn.  The television and things he likes to do aren't the problem.  First of all it was your CHOICE to allow him access to the televsion to begin with so why would you want to punish HIM for something that was clearly YOUR fault?  My kids from day one have been allowed one hour a day for television time and that includes weekends.  That's it one hour, no more.  There is no televsion in their rooms and there never will be a television in their rooms until they move out.  So if your child spends time on television when he should have been focusing on getting schoolwork done the person you need to blame is yourself.  Make learning fun.  Take him to the zoo and read the information about the animals to him.  Explain to him what "marsupial" means for instance.  Or  the differences between Apes and Monkeys.  If you don't know the differences YOU do YOUR homework and find out before you go.  Take him to museums.  Let him help out with the choosing of dinner menus and teach him about the foods he is choosing.  Let him help prepare dinner, teach him how to measure (simple math) how to use a time (how to tell time)At bed time rather than YOU telling him a story have HIM tell you one.  Even if he doesn't read perfectly.  What I would tell my kids was "Look at the picutres and tell me what is going on in the pictures".  This conisides with reading comprehesion.  When you force a child to learn or make it a chore they are naturally NOT going to enjoy it.

Answer 3

It is becoming more common for kids to get stuck with teachers that aren't a good fit for them. After having a nightmare experience it will probably take him a little while to like learning again. Hand select his teacher for the upcoming year and let him help. In the meantime you might want to hire a tutor. Don't take things away because then he just going to resent learning anymore. Instead tell him that when he is done he can do what it is that he wants. Don't stress about it too much though. Just focus on getting him a better teacher for next year.

Answer 4

Have you tried age-appropriate or skill appropriate toys that can help his cognition?  Does he like sing-a-longs?  Try the Wee-Sing sing-a-longs.  Those are great!

Answer 5

Don't give up on him whatever you do!! Read to him. Do funny voices for all the characters. I agree with your pedi. Give him time and get him tested for a learning disability in a few months.

Answer 6

You can have incentives, where if he does good and learns, you can give him some prizes. It gets young children wanted to do stuff. Its all for the prizes!

Answer 7

just let him learn at the pace he needs to go and try puzzles they have little puzzles make learning seem fun!!!! hope it helps!!!!!

Answer 8

Have you noticed that your not quite it either, you have not noticed that he has been held back AT LEAST TWO years! And NO child WNATS to learn!

Answer 9

If there appears to be a significant difference between your son and other children his adjusted age, more than a few months, then it may be time to look into an IEP - Individualized Education Program. Preemies often have learning issues and many have IEPs at school to make sure they get the help they need.

http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/i...

http://www.LDonline.org/  (learning disabilities website)

Kids have different learning styles, many boys tend toward kinesthetic learning - meaning they learn best when they are moving or using their body, a hands on approach. If you want a boy to listen to you, don't talk to him face to face, let him do something while you're talking. That's how many boys and men listen best. (Dr. Pollack - Real Boys)  If kinesthetic doesn't seem to be his style, do a google search on learning styles and see what applies to your son.

Some teaching ideas: http://www.bellaonline.com/subjects/5285...

Try not to link learning and punishment. I know it must be very frustrating because you're trying to help him and he's not cooperating. It sounds like he had a very bad experience with his teacher and that might have something to do with it. Also, it may be making him very frustrated that he isn't understanding (and he saw his classmates understand), so he's avoiding.

Find a preemie parent support group, either in-person (maybe through the hospital) or online. Many of the parents have gone through what you're going through and they may have some great advice for you. Often preemie issues are similar to named disabilities - but with their own little twist. Many preemie parents think there should be a "preemie disability" category. Hang in there!

Answer 10

If his teacher was a nightmare this could be the problem. He could be afraid of going to school because of his experience with this teacher. Talk to him about it and reassure him that not all teachers are not like this. Also, speak to his next teacher to let her/him know what you expect from her/him. Next get your son tested for a learning disability. He may have dyslexia. This will reassure you or help you to help him better now and in the future. Never, Never, Never give up finding help.