How can I get my 7 year old brother to stop asking for stuff whenever we go somewhere?

Question

I love him dearly and he is a very smart and sweet kid, but he has this habit of always asking for things whenever I take him somewhere. He spent the day with me today and we went to the store and he wanted to go into the arcade room, and then he wanted a big super pretzel (which I got for him even though we already ate) and then he kept asking if I would buy him toys, etc. and then he wanted to ride the horse. I was like "No, Honey, were going to the carnival later".

Then at the carnival, he rode a bunch of rides but started throwing a hissy fit when we left because I wouldn't let him play the midway games because they were like $5 for one throw ( I let him play one) and he pouted and whined all the way home because of it...oh, and he asked if we could also go to Chuck E Cheese.

What can I do to get him to stop asking for things? I don't remember ever asking people for stuff when I was a child.

Answer 1

Be assertive. If you can't buy him the toy, than tell him 'no'. The key to this is being assertive. Don't say 'no' and then buy the toy anyway. Stay firm, and refuse to buy it, no matter what he does, even if he kicks and screams. Over time, he'll begin to understand that 'no' means 'no'.

Answer 2

You can't make him stop asking, but you can change how you respond.  If you give in when he whines, then he learns that if he whines long enough you will eventually give in.  You are teaching him how to respond to you in order to get what he wants.  Be unemotional but firm and do not give in to him when he whines.

Answer 3

You need to give him advance warning of how things are going to be.  Tell him all the things you are going to do today, and let him know you will only buy him ONE snack or ONE game or, etc...When he asks for something, make sure he understands that that is the ONLY thing he is getting and not to ask again...say this firmly and look him in the eye.  If he does ask again (and he will) tell him firmly no, and that if he asks again you will be going straight home.  If he gives you any kind of attitude, or asks for something again, take him home.  Tell him next time, you hope he'll follow the rules.  He needs to be made to understand that no means no, and that there are consequences for not listening.

Answer 4

You have to set limits, and stick to them.  My brother used to do this...and they only do it because we USUALLY give in. :)  Set limits, and if they don't like em, too bad!! I know it sounds mean, but it's about the only thing that works.  This will probably cause a few more "hissy fits" before it starts to work, but I promise it will! Good luck!

Answer 5

There are several answers.  The way we raise children creates consumers with a huge appetitie.  Every movie has toys in the stores and happy meals, etc.  The kids just want more more more and forget that even they they got it.  My friend says her son will ask for a bra, because they just want something.  Kids today get stuff at the dentist, dr, preschool, EVERYWHERE!

What I do to combat this....avoid happy meals (within reason), avoid kids tv with all the commercials for every new toy, and I tell my kids BEFORE we go somewhere....."the carnival is our treat, so we won't be buying anything else while we are here, we are just going to be happy that we were able to come and ride cards, etc."

The best way to get him to stop it to ignore his hissy fits and constant request.  Or to tell him something like, I enjoy taking you to things, but you act sort of snotty by having fits and begging for too much stuff.  If you want me to take up places, you have to be thankful for what I do, and not complain about what you don't get.  Look on the bright side.  

When my kids were small we would go to Target and they would see the Dancing Elmo, and want it and I would say that we could put it on their list for Santa or b-day, and then we would tell Elmo bye bye and wave.  Starting young has helped me create somewhat "smart consumers" -- well at least I am trying.  They do ask for things, but they can also walk away and know they will put the desired item on their list for Santa.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

You need to let him know what the agenda is for the day prior to doing it.  Whatever is not on the list will not be done.  Outings are privileges not requirements and privileges can be revoked.  If he cannot stop asking to do things or can you get this for him, then end the outing.  What I do with certain kids is invoke a question limit.  I have gone as far as revoking speaking privileges, but that is for those that say the off the wall things that really get on one's nerves.  Some say I'm mean, but for some reason they're always happy when I show up.

Answer 7

give him couple dollars that he can spend, and if he wants for something more expensive you can say, "you can use t he money i  gave you, if it's not enough, I will give you another couple dollars, next time we go out together and you can save your money for the thing you want"

or just say no, what's the worst a 7 yo can do, if he cry, just leave him.. he'll be scared to be left alone and next time you go, he won't ask you too much anymore.. don't just give up like that.. my brother was like that too when he was a kid

Answer 8

I would set a firm limit prior to going out and then when it comes time that he pushes the limit.  tell him  "yes you can have xyz as soon as you give me the money to go and buy it for you."  then your not saying no!  Example........yes I will buy you that toy if you want the toy instead of the carnival.

Answer 9

sounds like hes been spoiled, when kids always get what they want, they just want more

Answer 10

You need to restructure what you allow yourself to give into and stick to it. He will get the picture and quit asking. We have five kids...they never ask for things at the store, etc. When they get something it is a treat and they don't all get something at the same time. It is like who rides in the front seat....it varies. Good luck.

Answer 11

I hate to say, and you may disagree, but you really have yourself to blame.  You have established the expectation that you will give in occasionally.  You did get him the pretzel and let him play the midway game.  So in his mind, if he asks, sometimes he MIGHT get what he wants, so he might as well go for it.  If you dont want him to ask for anything then you need to stop giving in AT ALL.  

He will fight you at first because he is used to you giving in, but you have to be strong and NOT give him anything when you go out.  You have to stay strong and just not give in.  Eventually he will stop asking becuase there will be no point.  He wont get anything from you.  Try it with short outings that progressively get longer.  

Just remember, things have to be given on your terms, not on his.  You have to dictate when he gets something, not him when he asks.

Good luck.