How can I get my Asian parents to understand?

Question

I'm 21 y/o and I've done so much for school and career compared to people my age. After high school, I took all pre-reqs for nursing, volunteered and worked as a nursing assistant for 200 hrs and also got my associate's degree. I got into nursing school last spring and worked my a$$ off. I'm a good girl and never had a social life. During nursing school, my life was dedicated to just that. Unfortunately, I didn't make it. It's those things to this day, I still don't understand what happened. I got a 74% in my theory class and needed a 75% to pass. $hit happens, i guess. I'm still heartbroken but am working hard to get back in.

My mom still gives me guilt trip about it and thinks I didn't work as hard. She tells me how I should be done w. now and is making me switch my career. I think I'm an embarrassment to her and is rushing for me to get done. It sucks b/c she was pushing for me to do nursing and while she was i actually fell in love w. it and now since "time" is clicking, she wants me to switch careers..

help

Answer 1

If you think your mother has your best interests in HER heart, pay attention to that. Most of the time mother's only want the best for their kids and also have more experience with life, but of course that doesn't necessarily mean they are right either. I have to say in this case. Since you are a lot older now, you have to follow your heart. But remember, if you make a mistake or a wrong decision, it is all on you...that's the tough thing about growing up.

Answer 2

I'm a little lost as to what you want your parents to understand. If you want your mother to accept you've worked hard to achieve things, forget it. Remember what Prince sang : "Maybe you're just like my mother, she's NEVER satisfied...."

Answer 3

Your twenty-one years old now. An adult who should be able to live life independently and take on their own responsibilities. You are no longer under your parents' control.

Even though you say you are trying to "be your own person", it sounds like you are still a bit dependent and emotionally tied to your parents.

This career situation isn't the main problem: your mom's anxiety over losing you is. All she wants to see is you being successful, and to be honest, Asian parents usually do not believe in fighting for what you want especially if you lost the first time. Rather, they would just accept defeat.

You must confront your mother face-to-face and persuade her that nurse is your passion and will become a nurse no matter what. Although you lost the first round, which is not accepted to nursing school, you won't give up. There are tons of nursing schools nationwide and if you really put your heart into the application that nursing is your true career love, you will be accepted. Along with great scores.

Facing her requires a thicker skin to avoid being guilt trip or giving in to your mother's protest. And also tell her that just because you are making your own decisions and following what you want to do doesn't mean you won't stop seeing her. You will still spend time to visit and have an alone time with her whether is shopping, cooking, etc.

Drop those non-Nursing classes and stick to your plan of becoming a nurse -- whatever that plan is -- and one day you will become one because of your love for it.

Seeing you enjoy a career that you love (nursing) will make your mom happy.

Good luck!

Oh, and by the way, I have Asian parents too.