How can I get my boyfriend of 1 year to forgive me?

Question

You see I was previously married when I met him but going through a divorce. I was still sleeping with my ex when my current boyfriend & I started our relationship. Insecurity or I don't know why I did it when I had feelings for my current boyfriend and not my ex. Then eventually I broke away from my ex husb but my current boyfriend is having a hard time forgiving me because he thinks this was going all the whole time. He was in Indiana and I was in Colorado. I am now currently in Indiana and have relocated to show and prove to him that I really do love him with my 2 kids. When we met and even after it was like 2 peas in a pod we have everything in common, would talk for hours on the phone I'd fly out to IN or he'd drive up to CO. It was like a perfect match I had always wanted a man like him. No drugs no alcohol just hard working, affectionate and loving. Wonderful man from what he showed me. I know i did wrong but I am truly sorry. I cry everyday and he's seen me and says look I don't want to hurt you but I can't control how I currently feel and what I think.

He's changed drastically towards me he sometimes says he's confused on what he feels towards me other times he says he doesn't feel anything for me anymore that I killed it. This is a man who said he'd die without me that I was everything to him, his life, his world. How can a love that was so strong and big have died overnight in a period of a month? He's not affectionate at all or complimenting, he's told me you act like nothing happened you hurt me a lot maybe time will change the way I feel and think but maybe not. He's told me that I haven't done anything to change my physical aspect because I am a little overweight and I'd make changes to my body but I've fallen into a semi depression but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to show him that I have soleheartedly repented. I have asked God for forgiveness but I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. Another thing that bothers me is he is so mysterious and protective of his blackberry he won't let me even touch it and he carries it wherever he goes. He says work is separate from our live when he makes work related calls he has to be outside in the balcony or away to where I won't hear his conversations. Could he have someone else on his mind? I asked him straightout and he said you shouldn't be asking me but no I have never cheated on you even now I haven't. Then why does he act like he's hiding something.?

I'd appreciate any advice. I just feel so sad and I don't know what to do anymore. I just got here to Indiana on July 27 and we just moved in together. He said we should've waited and given each other space and time to see if he'd miss me and want this as much as I did. But I moved things along because I wanted to SHOW him not tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. He always tells me had I loved him I would've never done this to him but he's wrong I am human and made a mistake I'm a good person and woman but how can he realize and see it?

Thank you :'''''''''''''''(

Answer 1

I've read your question and I can see you are a good woman..but maybe a little foolish..although we are all foolish at times..there's something in my gut that tells me this bf is not as serious as you are about this relationship , I think the fact that you slept with your now x is the excuse he has been looking for. When someone truly loves you..your past wont come into it...he will love you ..end of story.

He needs space and most of all you need to get control of the things that going in your life right now..as painful as it is , you must step back and take a clear view of what is going on. You can't make this man see that you love him  , if he doesn't want to see that you love him.

Answer 2

First of all I don't think this dude is as great as you do. He is deliberately throwing the fact that you slept with your ex-husband which is not that bad of a deal to begin with. I am sure you loved your ex at one time. If he has never been through a divorce he has no clue how screwed up a persons thinking and actions can be during that time. You owe him nothing for this time in you life. He is either cheating on you or dealing drugs or doing other illegal activity with the black berry. I think you should leave his *** to either wake him up. If he has real feeling he will come running and if not you don't need a man who does not love you. Once again I don't think this dude is that great.  

Answer 3

omg i am so sorry i just read it sorry i take that back i didnt mean that i thought u was just those teen girls in a relationship

so he is this way because he "thinks" not having proof and "thinks" he is the wrong one for assuming such a thing unless u was doing that but if u r living with him currently make him breakfast everymorning kiss him on the cheak make him lunch and dinner u will have to sacafrice a lot to get to him have a talk with him and plan a expensive special dinner and just talk just u and him see if things work out if not he is not the right one for u because he has to trust u and he just cant leave u with his 2 children thats not right...

yea i agree with boyd h i think u should leave him he is wasting you time try those compatible websites and go find u the genuine mr. right

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

how can he trust you when you have been playing Slipthedicktome with your ex.  You of all people have the nerve to get miss trusting cause you think he is cheating

Answer 5

I don't know what to tell you but...maybe this will help.

Time has a way of healing pain. Things people think they can't forgive you for will eventually seem worth it when compared with losing you. Tell him how much you love him, and let him know you understand how he's feeling and will give him time. Then do you own thing for a while to reevaluate the situation from your own corner.

if you two are truly in love as much as you made it seem, i'm sure he will find his way back to you. Trust me. Time is a wonderful healer. A week or so alone will give him he much needed perspective to eventually find his way to forgive you.

god bless and good luck. love conquers all in the end :)