How can I get my husband to understand that I need a break too??

Question

I am a stay at home mom, and my husband works. He has pretty good hours (6am-2pm so he has the afternoons and evenings off), and as soon as he gets home he goes outside and does yardwork, or just messes around (he enjoys working on cars). I have a very demanding baby, and my older child is also pretty demanding. I keep the house as clean as I possibly can, and I do my best to cook every night (sometimes my husband will pitch in). Anyway, when I asked him if he could take the kids for a few hours one Saturday so that I could have a little break, he said that he wanted to relax on the weekend because those are his only days off. Pretty much his reasoning is that I stay home, so I don't need a break. Am I missing something? Does anyone else have this problem? Is he right? If not, how do I get him to understand?

Answer 1

In a calm way tell him how you work 24/7 365 days a year without a break.  Then select one night a week that you get "me" time for 2-3 hours and then perhaps one Saturday a month or something like that.

You really do need a break from your kids and the house or it is going to drive you insane!  Perhaps even tell him on your "days off" there will be something special in it for him...wink! wink!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Tell him you would like to have at least one weekend "off" a month.  That is not to much to ask.  You both decided to have children and it takes two parents to raise them.  He can at least take the older one outside for hour or two while he does yard work.  Let him know that you understand how trying work can be but it would really be nice if he would once a month give you a little break from the housework and kids to relax yourself.  He is definitely not right in not giving you some free time to yourself.  Marriage and Parenting is a partnership  he needs to do his part.

Answer 3

you need to talk to him and tell him that you need a break as well.  Tell him that you'll gladly change positions with him.  He apparently hasn't ever stayed with the kids for a whole day to understand how tiring it can be.  Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.  Good luck.  Oh and I know a lot of men that work longer hours and still go home and help with the kids.  

Answer 4

I think you are a very lucky woman. Do you have any idea how many women in the world would give anything to change places with you? Most have to go to a full-time job and then another full-time job when they get home. Go give him a hug and tell him how much you appreciate his hard work so you can stay home to be a Mom. If you would like a break, work it out with a friend with kids. You have a Saturday afternoon off and maybe the next one she does. You babysit each other's kids. Or if you have a parent in your city, ask your Mom if you can get a little time off and she watch the kids. Stop whining and smile.

Answer 5

I have the same problem and one afternoon of leaving him alone with the kids he will understand why you need a break. I would just be ready at the door one night when he gets home and when he walks in hand the kids off and walk out. Tell him you will be back in two hours and just go. He will have a totally different frame of mind when you return. Just tell him that just because you stay at home does not mean you don't get stressed and need time alone. If that doesn't work tell him you want to start going to the gym and you can't take the kids so he has no choice. Put your work out clothing on and go to a movie. He will never know. Good luck and I hope you slap some sense into him.

Answer 6

Here's a solution-

For the next few days, keep a journal of everything you do around the house.  Write down things like grocery, laundry, clean, cook, baby...everything.  Then hand it to him.  Show him that you DO need a break from the monotony of it all.  

His time off is at home... so he thinks being at home is relaxing.

But when you work in the home... you need a break from home and time off.