How can I get my mother to the doctor?

Question

I work in health care, and have done just about everything to try to get my mother to see a physician. She has not been for a check up, blood work, or anything in over 15 years. She is showing several symptoms of possibly very harmful diseases (yes, no illnesses) and not to mention the many heart issues, cancers and diabetes that runs in the family. She is aware of her symptoms, but will not go to the doctor no matter what.

I've tried the method of scaring her into going (explaining what could happen if she does not get looked into), and when I ask her why she doesn't go she begins to get hostile and angry with me.

Any ideas? Thanks so much in advanced.

Answer 1

Hi, I also work in the health care profession and I know just what you mean because I have the same exact problem with my mom who's in poor health.  The thing is, scaring them into going to the physician for even a check-up is counterproductive in most cases.  She's perhaps scared of going to the doctor already lest they find something "abnormal."  (Heck, I'm a physician and I hate going to see my own doctor, but I know I have to do it).

One strategy that may work for you is explaining to your mother how critical her well-being is to you.  Perhaps if she understands that her health is a matter of concern, not only to her, but it also has a profound effect on you.  It might just be enough to do the trick.

Regrettably, we can't force our mom's to do something they don't want to do.  They have certain patient rights, and one of those rights is not to go to their physician's office, ever.  So it's an unfortunate situation for us both, but hopefully my suggestion may be helpful.

I wish you my best.

Answer 2

Tell her you are going to the doctor for something that worries you and you need her to go with you for support. When you get there she'll go in the room with you and you can start bringing up her issues.

Answer 3

Just tell her straight out that you know what by you not going to the doctor you are harming yourself and it will affect the entire family if you do not go. She has to understand that there are people who love her dearly and want her to live for as long as possible. I think she is just scared of what the doctor will tell her. Try comforting her, and let her know that no matter what happens you will be by her side through thick and thin.

Answer 4

Maybe if she has a close friend you can confide in and who she is likely to listen to they could try and persuade her.

Answer 5

It's her life, sweets.  Had a friend the same way.... colon cancer ran in her family... her mom had it, her dad as well.  She went for a mammogram------ once.  Last November she started loosing some weight, and finally decided she felt crummy enough to go  in to see a doc.  She never recovered from the surgery, and died in the hospital.  Easily, she had this colon cancer 15 years.  It was her choice to never check.  All her friends miss her... but she was one of those "private people".

Anyone, for example who has a relative diagnosed with colon cancer ought to be screened 10 years before that parent's age at diagnosis.

Your mom is a witch, hon, with a capital B.  But there is nothing you can do..... nothing.  It is her health, her life, and her decision.....  give up.  Truly, it is none of your business.  You've done all you can do, and she's told you so in her hostile reactions to your suggestions.  And she has every right to do with her health what she wishes---including taking a long time to die of some preventable problem.... ya can only bug 'em so much.

Answer 6

Make a home call. Call your doctor and make him/her come to you. They will come into your home and help her. Most likely, she will refuse a doctor being near her but it is very important that she sees one. The doctor will be able to persuade her the best way he/she can so don't worry. Call a hospital doctor (maybe a psychiatrist too, to help her just in case) and tell them about her symptoms and the whole situation over the phone and ask if they can come to see her since she doesn't want to visit.