How can I get my parents to trust me and respect me more?

Question

I am a 12 year old girl and my parents always seem to think that I'm really dumb and they have no respect for me. They let me hang out with friends and stuff, but sometimes I just feel like they never respect me and even if I get good grades, they still aren't really proud of me and think its not good enough. I get A's and B's all the time and they're acting like theres another score higher and I can do better. Sometimes it just makes me very mad and hopeless. I got 1st place in a math test once and still my parents think I'm very dumb and think I got 1st place just because my school isn't a really good school and keep saying that if I went to a better school I wouldn't be first and that I would be last. Everytime my mom does something to me like bumps me or something, their first instinct is to yell at the other person. Its like she elbows me then I go ouch! and she's like Why'd you do that? Blah blah blah? It's like the word sorry is always forbidden. She yells at me for the littlest things like she doesn't do those things. When I'm around my parents, I tend to act more different towards them than when I'm around my friends. I try to act more mature and don't kid around as much. But sometimes when I make a joke, they start yelling at me like it's an insult. I just feel like my parents never respect me and don't let me be myself. What can I do to make them change their minds about me?

Answer 1

WOW, you are so grown up for 12.  I think one of the best things you can do for yourself is to be proud of YOU. You sound like a very nice young girl, is there some kind of volunteer work you could get involved with,have you ever thought about visiting at an elderly care facility,those grandpa's and grandma's would just love to visit with you,or go on a day they are playing bingo,most of them need help finding their numbers,or you could bring a pet to see them, they all love cats and dogs,maybe you could get your mom involved,and when she sees that you can make a difference in someones life,she will see you for the wonderful person you are. Maybe you can open her eyes.  Also maybe you could go to your local library when little kids are there, they need child care sometimes,have you ever thought about taking a babysitting class,that might be fun.

Maybe you have a neighbor that could use a little help,doing positive things can't go unoticed for ever. Good luck sweetie,I hope your parents will see how special you really are.

Answer 2

I suggest that you speak with a School Counselor. It sounds like

your Parents - particularly your Mom - have some personal problems

and have not learned how to deal with them.

First of all, congratulations on being a good Student. DO NOT EVER

let your education slide. Learn everything you can and your life in a few years will be pretty good. And probably better than your Parent's.

Please, ask for help. Perhaps you have Grandpartens or other Relatives you can confide in, who can help out.

You difinitely need some Adult to step in to get some fun in your life.

Good Luck.

Ingrid