How can I get my self-confidence back?

Question

I am 14 now, I was bullied for 3 years at school (2 at primary, 1 at high school, now in 3rd year of high school) and I am still bullied a bit now although it isn't so bad, cuz i've learned to live with it as part of me.

But I have absoloutly no self- confidence left. These are some of the things I struggle with:

-i hate my appearance (big nose, have been told i'm ugly a lot)

-i could never talk to someone i don't know well

-i have no pride in most of the things i do and my parents think i'm ok and happy

what can i do to re- gain my confidence?

Answer 1

I used to get called big nose in primary school as well.  Even though I wasnt bullied in highschool I still had an issue with it, felt that I was fat and ugly and horrible to look at.  I look at old diary entries and its a bit scary at how depressed I was.

So I know where you are coming from.

The best advice I can offer you is to see your school councillor, and be honest with your parents.

And there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I remind myself of the story of the ugly duckling.  I felt that I was really ugly when I was in highschool but now I know I am a pretty decent looking person and I no longer stress out about my nose.  It may be a bit larger than normal but anyone worth talking to wouldnt give a d**n (and it has never stopped guys from asking me out).

Answer 2

Give it some time, knowing that at 14, you have the "puberty blues" that every teenager has.  Trust me, you will grow out of it.

Here's MY story:  one summer when we were new in town and I was trying desperately to fit in with the new kids, I put on some sun lotion, and on the container, it said something like "Put the excess on your hair for that shiny look," so I did.  OMG, the kids saw me, and from that point on they called me "Slime."  I think it only lasted the rest of the summer, but to me it was like eternity.  I suffered!  So I was 13, and now it is 50 years later, and I still remember it.

Therefore, the one piece of advice I can give you is to get over it the best you can.  Think positive every day.  There will be other confidence busters, and now is a good time to regain your strength.  I bet you look fine.  I will be thinking of you and wishing you well.  The teen years are hard, just by their very nature, but you will emerge a whole and good-looking adult.

Answer 3

Hey...First of all, realize that the people that bullied you were either jealous or were just *** holes that sensed your low confidence and fed off of it to make themselves feel better.  You gotta let that go.  Are you happy with yourself? Forgetting what others have said to you, do YOU think you are good looking? Look at your good features and play them up to boost your confidence.    

Another thing, just go talk to someone! Be open, just go talk to them (well, if they have a good vibe about them...If someone is a noted jerk, leave em alone.)    

Have pride in every little thing you do, cuz hun, for a 14 year old you speak well and are not afraid to ask for help with your confidence. Most kids your age will "fake it" to fit in, but do nothing to make them truly feel good about themselves... Talk to your parents and let them no what's up...They could even make an appt. for you to speak to a counselor or maybe buy you somethin real nice?? :) hope i helped.

Answer 4

Do what you like interested in.

Answer 5

I think self motivational book a good place to start and read the bible also. Have a blessed day.