How can I get over jealousy from my boyfriend watching p**n?

Question

I know my boyfriend watches it and it makes me feel like ****. I know that almost all men do but I just really wish he wasn't interested in that c**p and I don't know how to get over it. It just makes me so angry and makes me feel so ugly to know that my guy is getting turned on by some other chick. I just feel like that's my job and I feel like I need to be able to take care of all of his needs and knowing that I obviously can't makes me feel horrible. Heck, when I found out he went to the strip club I started bawling and was depressed for quite some time. I sieriously hate strippers and p**n stars now and just wish that they would all die. I know it's a horrible thing to say but it's how I feel and I need help. Yes I have told him multiple times about how I feel. I really don't want to be a controling b***** who tries to manipualte him but every it's an extremely emotional subject with me and every time he tries to talk about it I start crying and I can't help it. There have been times when I've start accidentaly crying and he's snapped his dvds in two in front of me, but it doesn't help that much, he still has a stack of at least 30 magazines and watches the **** on the internet. I'm not going to leave the man I love because he has a disgusting habit that makes me feel like **** so how can I get over this. I'm tired of living life miserable and hateing other women. Every time I think about it it just makes me feel ugly and worthless all over again. I sieriously need help! This hate makes me want to do out of character things that I will regret and I need to know how to stop this jealousy befor it gets the best of me.

Answer 1

Well you could always hook up with another dude in front of him, and I'm sure that would cure him of wanting to watch other people get it on. Or maybe he'd like it so much you'd have a threesome.  

Answer 2

Unfortunately you have a jealously gene like most of the  98% of population.

Answer 3

Ok, I hear you, I felt like that too when I was young, but you have to understand he's not replacing you with these women.  He knows they're dumb and he has no respect for them, he just wants to watch them get ploughed by other people who also have no respect for them.  You are taking care of all his live in-person needs, this is just a little freakshow for him, trust me!!!

I recommend you find one that you like somehow (girl/girl is good only because hey, we all have one of those hey-nanny-nannies to be licked, and two is better than one) and watch it with him.  Ask him to perform it on you.  He won't even remember it's on anymore!  

You are not ugly, worthless, or unable to fulfill him, you are a fun girl that's just trying to be appreciated for your talents, so don't hate yourself for it, or for disliking it.

Answer 4

wow-- i never realized how BIG of a problem this is for so many women!!!

guys dont respond well to girls getting upset, they assume its irrational, especially with something so "silly" as p**n (guys like to belittle our concerns alot of times and not understand) and its difficult to make them understand our concerns, so i wouldnt even go there.

soooo....heres what i would do if i was in ur shoes:

-- make a "playboy" of YOU!!!! oooorrr, victoria secret catalog or whatever....but make it of you. what does he like? if he likes panties and things, make a victoria secret catalog....if he likes down and dirty raunchy stuff, make him a dirty magazine. if he likes video, suggest video taping!! seriously, putting this spin on you makes you look way sexier, especially if its a surprise and he's not expecting it. guys expect us to go all "psycho" and emotional on them, so this approach will be much more appreciated.  and when you do give him this little gift,  say a short, catty, witty remark like "forget playboy, honey, bc you're f***ing me." it's an empowering statement, will get his attention, and it'll make you look serious and dominating..which men love (they're weird) i wouldnt talk abt it much more than that. just make them realize that ur who they're having s*x with and that they wouldn't want to even think of anyone else bc u are the epitome of their every fantasy.

Answer 5

Your response seems irrational on the surface,  You may need to look deeper and figure out what about this affects you so much.  p**n is a multi billion dollar industry that has been around for hundreds of years. You will have this issue forever if you don't look deep down and see what the true root cause is.  

It sounds to me like you have trust issues.  

    

Answer 6

I first found out my bf watches p**n when I checked his history.....(he usually watched it when I was away in my country )

we had a long distance relationship but we done cybersex quite often.

So I saw it and breaked down I cried and wanted to break up,my Love for him made me stay with him though........I asked him not too look at it anymore but when I came over after 2 month I discovered some more p**n ......I totally lost it I cried and I even slapped him for it......and its actually pictures of naked women not movies.

I dont think its allright in any way I mean he flips when I said that Cristiano Ronaldo is really hot ,I made him pay I looked atg naked nice model guys and he didnt liked it at all loeave alone masturbating to them.We once was in a bar and to make him pay two guys that were starring at me I greeted them infront of him and said "Hey He looks alot better then you"! the guys had a laugh and he was hurt and pissed.....

In the end before I last time went away I installed an antiporn thing on his pc that I can recommend....but now we live together

I dont think its allright that p**n is considered as normal and okay!!!! just cuz so many do it ......I mean google jelous on p**n so many many women suffer cuz of it !!!!!

And to u plz dont take ur bf watching p**n confront about it and do something about it like this antiporn thing ,I mean u are his gf and he shouldnt get turned on by anything else......Ask him if he would like it if u m********e imagining that u gonna sleep with some nice firend of his or some nice naked guy!U can also buy the playgirl and see how he reacts ..But the fact is it hurts u and he should stop

But please dont suffer for some man ...............I mean he has to make some consequences ,I cant believe he knows about it and is still doing it. Shock therapy is best do something radical then ..........the way I see it he is disrepectfull and waits for u to change when he is the 1 to....

Answer 7

I think you need to step back and acquire a little perspective here.  

In a nutshell, your problem is that you're not sufficiently separating the reality of life from the fantasy of p**n.

I seriously don't understand why so many people here keep referring to p**n actresses as "other women" as if they go knocking on doors to steal men for s*x.  They are NOT other women, they are just screen images.  There are no real women in p**n.  There are only models and actresses.  Those women in film and mags are no more real than Heath Ledger is really The Joker or a g*y cowboy.  p**n actors, like all other acters, are characters performing a specified role for entertainment, with the same amount of makeup and special settings and direction.  Watching p**n is nothing but a fantasy escape the same way watching any other movie is.  Would you be as upset if your boyfriend were as much into sci fi or action or horror flicks as he was into p**n?  Because they really are the same.

Ask yourself this.  Aside from the p**n, does your boyfriend satisfy you sexually?  Does he make sure to spend time with you to make you happy?  Do you feel true intimacy with him when you are together?  Does he treat you well?  Can you honestly say he loves you?  Is he a good person?  Does HE know the fantasy from the reality, and not try to force p**n on you or make you act like one of those fake actresses?

If the answers to all those questions are yes, you'd be wise to just let him have his hobby and not worry about it.  So he gets off while watching those films once in a while?  Big deal.  One of the really nice things about the human body is that there is no limit to the number of orgasms you are allowed to have in a lifetime.  He theoretically could watch a hundred thousand p**n flicks and get off on every one and STILL be able to satisfy you in bed.

If you take p**n for the fantasy it is and treat it like any other hobby that your boyfriend might be interested in and you are not, then you really would be a much happier person.  

There's no shame in p**n and nothing necessarily "disgusting" about it, until you let it blur into your reality and assume that what you see on screen actually applies to real life.  Got news for you...it doesn't.

Good luck, and I hope you come around to that much healthier way of thinking.

Answer 8

I know you will get different responses on this subject.  I once dumped a boyfriend for his p**n habit because I feel it disrespected me as a woman. The last straw was when he was a regular at a strip club.  He and I were living together before marriage and now I am glad I did that because I saw how much money he was spending on these ho bags.  He was clipping restaurant coupons taking me out to dinner before we lived together.  I thought he was so thrifty and money smart until I moved in and discovered the real truth!  He was saving money for his girly habit.  There are some women who either like this behavior or pretend to like it to keep the man (Boy).  I am a very attractive woman.  I did get revenge.  I got myseslf a job as a stripper in his favorite club and found out most of the girls can't stand the guys and joke about how much money they can get.  I threw these facts in his face and dumped him because I was making more money than him.  I eventually quit the job and met a man who loves me and doesn't need p**n for good loving.  I will never regret the stripper job because it paid off quite a chunk of my student loans and gave me more of a feeling of power as a woman.  I wouldn't reccommend what I did to everyone.  This was just my personal experience.

Answer 9

Your man needs a reality check, or maybe you should just dump him and find a guy with a better sense of what it means to be in a relationship with a woman who cares about him and is willing to support him as he supports her.

s*x is not p**n. s*x is a means of sharing deep love with another person in a physical way.

Like most men, your guy probably didn't have anyone to talk to about s*x as a young man/teenager. Unfortunately, society prepares girls for s*x much more than it does its boys. You are told about the dangers and advised about how to make sure you don't get hurt. Boys, on the other hand, are often just handed a magazine, or link, and advised to "go get some!" which is a huge bunch of c**p.

If you've told him how you feel and he refuses to change, that's a wake up call, sister. Move on.

Answer 10

My boyfriend doesn't watch p**n anymore now that he's dating me. And I'd be pissed if he did. I think out of courtesy and respect, he shouldn't be getting turned on by other girls. If it bothers you that much, you shouldn't live with it. You need to confront him about your feelings and not settle for anything less than what you're happy with. =)

Answer 11

Find a new boyfriend who is more into you than p**n. You should be the only one to turn him on. You are letting him upset you over this, he is not going to change for you. It seems he does not respect you and your feelings either. Just move on with your life, find someone who loves you and won't put trash before you. He is out there somewhere waiting just for you, I promise.