How can I get over my fear?

Question

I'm 18 and in college.

I'm a little overweight, I understand my situation but i'm not horribly overweight just a little you know just kind of chubby

my pic can be seen at myspace.com/angelrulez

The thing is that I'm afraid to approach girls due to me always being picked on as a kid. I have a serious fear of them thinking i'm a loser and just walking away. I want to get over my insecurities enough to talk and flirt with girls. If anybody can give me advice on just going up and looking confidant or some friendly words would help thanks

Answer 1

just stop caring about what people think.  This quote helps me:

"every man dies but not every man truly lives"

Think of that when you feel intimidated.

Answer 2

Believe it or not, most girls give guys a chance.  It might not seem like it, but deep down, if you approach us, we respect that.  As long as you aren't going "OMG I LIKE UR BOOBIEZZZ" then we're usually more than welcoming of a smile or "hello".  Do you have any girl friends?  Try to see if one of them is super fashionable and willing to help you out and get a makeover.  It will A. boost your confidence, and B. perhaps make you look more appealing to women if you do not think you are.  I personally don't like very skinny guys;;; I love my current boyfriend for who he is, not how he looks.  He was a little shy at first, too, so don't worry!  And if it doesn't work out at first, don't be discouraged.  There's someone out there for you, maybe now just isn't the right moment.

Really, good luck!!  Confidence is key :)

Answer 3

Go for a girl that doesn't look stuck up and go for a nice one not every girl is mean you just got to pick the right one. :D

Answer 4

well you have to walk with a swag and be confident when you approach a girl..When you approach her tell her i think you are very beautiful and i was just wondering maybe i can get your number and we can chat sometimes?...i am telling you that always works..

Answer 5

Hey, first of all, you are pretty cute! You don't look chubby at all in my opinion. If I were to just look at your picture, I would never guess that you were picked on as a kid. I think everyone gets picked on in one form or another as a kid. The thing with bullying is that you shouldn't take it personally. The people who picked on you were probably not mentally there-- they were crazy! You just happened to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time. So it's not YOU that's the problem, it's them! Once you think of it like that, hopefully you won't keep thinking that you'll always be the type of person that gets picked on.  Also, college is a time where you can relax and be a completely different person than the one that people knew before. None of the people you meet will know that you were picked on as a kid! So unless you straight out tell them, they will never know.

Here's how you look more confident:

- Don't be negative about yourself. Even if you are in a bad mood or think you're having a bad day, pretend like you're not. "Fake it till you make it" is a good motto. Think of a person you think of as being very confident. Picture in your head what they look like. What do you notice? What's their posture? Where are their arms? What tone of voice are they using? What facial expressions? Imitate it.

- Be active about your appearance. Ask trustworthy family members or friends (or even someone at a store!) how you look in certain clothes. Wear things that are flattering to you and make you feel good. The better you are dressed, the better you will feel inside. Practice good hygiene (showering, brushing teeth, deodorant, little bit of cologne) and comb and/or gel your hair. The more effort you put into your appearance, the better you'll look. And don't worry if you're not used to that stuff-- you gotta start somewhere, and you'll GET used to it soon enough. So just grin and bear the shyness.

-Smile. Say hello, ask the other person questions about themselves. Listen. Pretend that you are a teacher and they are your student, so they are not in a position to judge you. (or anything else that helps you picture that). Again, fake it till you make it!

I hope that helps. You certainly have a whole lot of potential and it's a shame that all these girls have been missing out on you until now!

Answer 6

girls like nice guys so just be friendly and youll meet someone(:

Answer 7

Just be friendly.  dont try too hard or come on to strong.  have confidence in urself, girls will definitely be more likely to respond to u if u believe in urself.  any girl who is worth ur time isn't gonna automatically assume u r a loser.  

good luck!!

Answer 8

Dear Angel;

      I have a girlfriend that is overweight but you know what it dosn't bother me well it dose and it dosn't. Let me explain. First of all sure you may be over weght but god made youthe way you are for a reason and if you want to change that thers only one poerson who can do that you. and there are many diferant ways to go about doing that Just do me one favore and make me a promise like I made my girlfriend do don't starve your self it's not worth it and it just dosn't work ok.

Answer 9

the only way you would get over your fear is to just try it. if you like a certian girl, try and found out what she likes, what music she listens to, what she likes to do and things like that. what do you have to lose?

Answer 10

You sound sweet. just be funny. Girls love a guy who can joke around. I mean you say you are chubby... who cares? I know tonnes of people who aren't thin who are in long loving relationships. It's all on how you put yourself out there. Maybe if you want to start up a convorsation, try saying hi to start, then ask how their day is going.. that always helps. You're in college, so nobody is going to laugh at you or make fun of you, and anyone who does, shouldn't even be in college. Educated people, aren't immature. especially the kind who are in post secondary. Another thing, maybe try going for girls who are in your league if you don't already do that. That's the first mistake many guys make... they go after very hot girls who are high maintenance and wonder why they get hurt or shot down so many times. Go for girls you know will like you for who you are... the type who are all about personality. Smart girls, girls who are passionate about something other than themselves, are usually the type of girls you want to go for. Good luck! Remember, love, is a feeling, not an ability.  

Answer 11

go for it and if they blow you off they arent the kind of girls you wanna be hanging out with anyway

Answer 12

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In saying that you need to believe you are a beautiful person. I don't need to look at your picture to tell you what I need to. Bash any negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with positive thoughts. Nobody can love you if you don't love yourself (I've learned that). Never compare youself to others. If you think you are the best-then you are. If you think you are terrible-then you are. What is true to you is true to the world-so start using positive reinforcement. You should look into self-help books, also motivational or inspirational speakers. If you aren't good at introducing yourself than try with other people before the girls you're interested in. I think confidence can't be faked so really look deep in yourself and start getting involved! You're a great person-and you've got a lot to offer. It all starts with you-and you can do it:-) When you put life in perspective-there is only one unique YOU. And of the billions in the world you are interesting in your own. Show people that. Individuality rocks. Realtionships use a lot of tactics with business. My dad is an entrepeneaur and I've learned that. I've also managed to get any man I want. That's due to confidence alone. Looks have some but very little to do with it. Self respect is another huge thing. Nobody will respect you unless you respect yourself.

Blessings!

Answer 13

I think everybody has somethings they don't like about themselves me I am constantly called pole because I am too skinny I sometimes am worried girls will think I am too weak to be their bf but I realize if they reject me because of my figure they are totally not worth it if u talk to a girl and get negative feedback from her try again because if every guy gave up because they were rejected there wouldn't be anybody alive ALL guys get rejected at least once in their life I know u will get a gf because u seem like a good guy. good luck

Answer 14

Hey don't worry every one is met for someone but if you want a couple girls in between just be confident and tell your self I'm good looking. No is better than me and i they think I'm a loser just say to your self if that's the way they think about you its there loss I'm a good no I'm a GREAT guy and luck will come your way.

Answer 15

to answer your question: FACE IT. start doing this by loving yourself.. appreciate your value as a person. :)