How can I get over the pain of aweful breakup?

Question

I'm trying and trying to get over how my ex treated so bad at the end. It's just killing me and feels like my heart is repeatedly stubbed. I have no clue what I have done to deserve all this. I had never betrayed him or been mean. I loved him so much. I tried to go out with friends, started new things and meeting a counselor.... positive stuff I could think of. But open up the wound from the recent past at counseling later brought me flashbacks and I'm spending so much time crying on bed. I just want to live my life again, but all the fear, anxiety, and loneliness are just squeezing my chest. Do you think someday this will end and I can trust guys again?

Answer 1

Time will have to heal most of the pain, its horrible to know that. But everything happens for a reason. Its a lot of pain, but it would have been more pain for you if he would have lived the relationship as a lie. Next time you deal with a guy, try talking to him and really getting to know him before you actually "go out" i mean going on dates is cool because thats time to get to know another but dont get into it much with a guy until you really feel like you like him. Obviously this guy tried to hide his true feelings but they came out eventually.

The cold hard fact is its over and if he put it to you in that way, then its time to move on, because now you can sit there and think of your perfect man, because one day he will show right up :)

Answer 2

Getting over a heartbreak is one of the hardest things to do, I know I have a black belt in it..the best thing to do is not to internalize the break-up, meaning don't make it your fault, if he was treating you badly it is often that he  was insecure about the relationship and figured you'd leave anyway, he just wanted to pick the time and place, it was about control for him, it wasn't you...try to be productive and try new things and not all guys are bad you will meet another one one day and he will treat you right....

Answer 3

I really feel for you. Heartbreak is worse than it sounds. First of all, give yourself some credit for going to counseling because many won't. You're taking charge of the situation!! Many just sit and wait and expect things to magically change over night. Now I don't know what this guy did to you but I'm going to assume to worst. What you need to keep reminding yourself is that you were NOT the reason this relationship went bad. Any person who hurts another or puts another person down for no reason has their own issues within themselves.

I was in an abusive relationship for a year and a 1/2 and I was madly in love with this guy. The last 6 months of our relationship were TERRIBLE. I was abused and just felt awful. I thought it was my fault, I thought I would never trust another man for as long as I lived. Well a year after the break-up I came to find out that he grew up in an abusive home and when he moved back in with his parents that was when he started abusing me. It's the "kick the dog" theory. You take things out on people you care about most even if you don't mean to. I never went back with him but I forgave him which many think I shouldn't have but it put me at peace with myself.

This is what you need to realize. You were not the problem. It is going to take time. That's the hard thing about heartbreak and especially with being in an abusive relationship. Keep going to counseling, keep talking, keep surrounding yourself around those who love and care for you, do the things you love to do, do the things that you wouldn't have been able to do when you were with him.

I don't know how old you are but I can garuantee that more guys will come in your life. Right now you are at a fragile point in your life so I don't suggest jumping into a relationship but I can promise you that you will not suffer with this for the rest of your life. You are in the right direction so keep it up!