How can I get over the pain????

Question

I've been in a relationship for almost 6 years. And for 6 years we have been inseperable. The past year has been the worst. It all started on Aug 28, 2007. Our daughter died on this day. And ever since then I guess we both been dealing with the lost in our own way. I done found females #s in his phone, and these females told me that they had s*x with him. But he denied it so I still stayed faithful to my man. And his whole attitude changed like he would talk to me any kind of way, and not want to spend so much time with me. So after a while of dealing with the verbal abuse, and neglection. I decided to talk to someone 2. I ended up having s*x w/ this person, and ended up really liking him. So at that point of time I was torn in between the two. I finally confessed to my boyfriend that I had cheated. But honestly I could not leave him. My heart is always with him. So a couple of months ago we vowed to each other that we gon be honest with each other and trust each other. So recently I had started the medication Clomid. Which really messed up my head. I was having mood swings, and a whole bunch of negative thoughts in my head. So I snuck and looked thru his phone one night. And I found text messages to females in his phone, and alot of girls #s. So the girls that were in the text messages I called to see what was going on. And once again another female told me that they had s*x a couple months back. I told him if he did do it then I understand, because I cheated on him. And that we can lave it in the past, and let bygons be bygons. Now he saying he not going to trust me no more, and he not going to put his self in the situation for him to get hurt again. I tried to assure him that I'm not going to do anything, I was going to take it as us being even. But now he wants to leave me. The pain hurts so bad I honestly do not know what to do. I feel so alone, because anytime something is wrong wit me i turn to him 2 talk 2. Now he's turning his back on me and now I have no one :(

If someone out there can please just give some advise comforting words or anything I would be very thankful.

Answer 1

don't you see what you've done? you have let him change this into making you the villain. he cheated first, I am not justifying anything you did. you cheated on him also. I suggest you get off the meds, and leave. You guys cannot work if there is not trust in the reelationship. i would leave if i were in your place.

Answer 2

it seems like the two of you enjoy hurting each other so go ahead as long as others don't get hurt

Answer 3

My condolences goes out to you and your love ones. I say put it in GOD'S hands and he will work it out. I know it's hard and things seem to be getting worst between the two of you but just have faith in god and trust that he will fix this. Dont give up.  

Answer 4

I am not going to sugar coat anything. You need to be by yourself and get it together. Why give someone your all and when they leave you are left with nothing. This is a great time to stop thinking about having kids and live life for yourself. There are many girls out there who are willing to be your friend. Someone who you can talk to in situations such as this one. h**l, if you want to talk I can talk to you. Just email me or hit me up on myspace. Whatever is best for you. I also recall that when you cheated you caught a disease. That should have been your wake up call to straighten up. He cheated you cheated. Both of you need to get it together. There are too many diseases out there. And to bring a baby into this world in a situation like this is not healthy for the child. Stress can make you loose the baby. Hope this helps. Not being hard on you. Just telling you like it is.

Answer 5

WELL I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND ALL BUT U NEED 2 LET IT GO PPL WILL DO DUMB THINGS AND COME 2 THEIR SINCES ITS WHAT ALWAYS HAPENS AND IF YOU HAVE NO 1 ELSE 2 GO TO THEN GO 2 THAT PERSON THAT U CHEATED ON HIM WITH OR JUST TRY ND MAKE A NEW FRIEND THATS A BOY CAUSE GIRLS R U SOME... BUT ANY WAY I HOPE THAT I HELPED YOU N ANY TYPE OF WAY AND I HOPE THAT U CAN MAKE IT THROUGH WIT THIS PAIN

Answer 6

You should have left him the moment he cheated,once a cheater always a cheater. your relationship is basically over. move on.

Answer 7

He's using you, he's manipulating you, he's clearly cheating on you and he's blaming you.

How much are you going to put up with before you discover that getting rid of him is a good thing?

Seek professional therapy.

Answer 8

First of all I am sorry this is happening. Second of all, You need to get away from him, find someone who will not cheat. Someone who you can talk to unconditionally! If he really loved you he wouldn't have cheated in the first place MANY times and the one time you do it he doesnt even try to hear you out. I think the both of you should take a break and who knows, you might find someone who you can actually be happy with. There is no excuse for cheating so I am guessing your not happy either and weither you try to denie it or not that other someone made you feel something even if it was for 2 seconds, it is clear that the both of you need to be with other people and stop hurting each other.

Answer 9

Come on- you know what you need to do. How did you feel about it all when you were writing this? You have your answer.