How can I get over this??

Question

The reason I'm asking this in parenting is because I'm a kid and I want some adult advice. I heard about the case of Elizabeth Pena and Jennifer Etman's murder and now I can't stop feeling bad for them. This happens everytime I hear about a murder case that's horrible like that one. One night I couldn't sleep because I was angry about it. This is about the 3rd day this has happened. I just can't stop feeling terrible for them and what they went through and angry that their killers did it and then bragged. How do I stop??

Answer 1

I think you are a very caring and compassionate person.  To have such sensitivity and feelings about strangers is a kind of gift - just as some people are good at math and others are artistic or athletic, you may have a special talent for social activism.   Some of the most important people in history were motivated by their anger at injustice or their compassion for people who were hurting.  

I don't think you can stop your feelings, but you can put them to good use.  Consider a career in the justice system. social services, or community leadership.  Take courses that would help prepare you and see what you can do to volunteer in your community right now.  You may not be able to help Elizabeth and Jennifer,  but someday you may be able to help others like them and prevent such horrible things from happening.  Then you'll be able to put those feelings in the background for a while, knowing that you hve made a difference.

Please don't try to stop caring - you are a rare and special person!

Answer 2

Welcome to The Real World, my friend.  Most of us who grew up with anything resembling a conscience went through a similar phase...How can we enjoy life when there is so much wrong in the world?  What happens is you learn to compartmentalize things over time.  You can feel sorrow and outrage over the things you've discussed, but then it is okay to put that aside and have fun and hang out with your friends too.   Later you can go back and deal with that hurt when you're ready to do that, and afterwards you can once again close the box on it for a while and do something else for a time.  That doesn't mean you're some mind-control freak robot; it's just what people do; it's how we move on and survive, and its what enables us to be productive and contribute.

Answer 3

If you're religious, say a prayer for them as that's about all you can do. I would recommend that you stop watching the news so much. Seriously, I have to "news fast" sometimes in order to be a happy person because I'm very sensitive & it sounds like you are, too. There's so many bad things going on that we have no control over that I don't see the point in knowing about all of them. We do, however, control what goes into our heads, well, at least most of the time.

PS. I love Violet's answer because I've always told my kids to focus on what they can do, instead of what they can't, which is what she's advising you to do.

Answer 4

well, you can't really. your mind has its own way of dealing with what it wants to. you can do things to help yourself "deal" with it better. when i was about 13 & 14 i used to not be able to sleep numerous times over different things. once, i watched a holocaust movie. i was scared that it would happen in the united states. then, i seen a show about the world ending, and i thought that was going to happen. i also remember being scared about death, and that lasted a while too. i talked to my mom about it and i started writing down what i would do if these situations happened, depending on the subject. it helped alot. mabey you should write down what you would do if you were the procecuting attorney for these killers, or what you would have done if you were the victim. it helps to be able to go back, read it and reassure yourself. if you are spiritual at all, pray. i always have been and that has gotten me through a whole lot. it helps to know that there is a higher being in control. breathe evenly, and do relaxing things before bed. don't watch the news, do that in the morning. go to bed when you are tired, and not before. good luck!

.  

Answer 5

Distraction is the technique to use.  Every time your brain brings up murders,  you sit in front of the television, or you read a magazine, or you do the dishes.  Focus on something else.  Replace the thoughts with more pleasant thoughts.

Do you think that either of these ladies would want you to be in such turmoil?  Probably not.

Get a sleeping pill.  If you do not sleep well, controlling your thoughs is more difficult because you're foggy in your head.

TX Mom