How can I get through to my 18 yr. old daughter dating a 15 yr. old? She says the parents are o.k. with it.?

Question

My daughter was assaulted by her ex-boyfriend. Her explanation for dating this new guy is if he did try to hurt her he would not be able to. She is very immature, has ADHD and ODD. She won't call the crisis center, won't take the State up on counseling, etc., but I still want to try and get through to her but don't know how. She says getting in trouble won't happen because no one will file a complaint. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Age doesn't matter, if this guy is better than the last guy who assaulted her than why interfere.

Answer 2

what would be the consequences if she did get dobbed on.... it is a bit scary, she could end up in jail.

im sorry - you sound like a good parent trying to find answers.

Answer 3

What's so wrong with her dating a 15 year old?  I could understand the parent of the younger child having concerns but if his parents are okay with it I guess I don't see the problem.  My cousin is 15 and she's dating a 13 year old.  Her Mom was upset about it but really he's less likely to pressure her into s*x so I think her Mom is crazy.  Ultimately I figure the relationship is doomed when she starts school.  (She'll be a Sophomore and he's just in junior high... I'm guessing peer pressure will get to her then.)

The age of your daughter's boyfriend sounds like the least of her problems.  You need to get convince her to get some counseling.

Answer 4

Your daugther should know by now tha she can be accussed as a child offender because she is an adult and he is still a child?. Is your job to let her know it. Anyone can report her to DYFS. And it  take a long time for her to get rid of this label "child molester"

Answer 5

Sounds your daughter is focused on this boy. If you've been firm with her throughout her life, tell her sternly that this isn't something she should be doing, try at first to recommed that she see someone else, maybe even try introducing her to young men her own age, but don't let her know you're trying to do that. Maybe I shouldn't say sternly, instead I want to say strongly recommend, maybe threaten with taking things away that she still uses at home.

I mean, this could be a last resort if you can't get through to her just by consulting her about her ways. Although some will disagree with telling her what to do (after all, she is 18, and can legally decide what she wants to do), you are still her mother and should direct her in the right direction.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Just dating shouldn't be a problem as long as his parents know, which it sounds like they do.  But I'd make sure she knows that if they have s*x you'll turn her in yourself.  That's illegal and as much of an assault as what was done to her.

Answer 7

How does she know that no one will file a complaint?  She is considered an adult and he is considered a child.  If they have s*x and someone does report it, she is in big trouble.

She should not take that chance.  Is she on medication for ADHD?  If she is, then that should bring her to a more normal state where she is not so hyper.

My grandson has ADHD and it can be controlled with the proper medication.   I know that there is medication for  ODD as well.  Both of these are hyper active behavior problems.   These deseases do not make you immature just hard to be still.

It won't matter to the authorities if she is immature for her age.  She is still an adult and he is still a child.  You might tell her that and it might help.