How can I go on struggling facing so many problems? I'm so desperate and exhausted with my life experiences.

Question

I'm approaching 40. I had cancer in my 20's and have to deal with chronic physical problems from my cancer treatment ever since then and had to quit my job. My boyfriend and I separated after my cancer treatment. My husband's abusive and have been having an affair during our marriage. I have separated with him for over a year now and have been finding shelter at my family's. My family has not been too supportive, understanding and considerate. My parents had even hit me badly that I had bruises all over and got swollen on my face and forehead. But my parents and my sister or brother are kind of justifying their acts by making allegations on me that I made them do so.

Ever since I was in my teen, I have felt being treated unfairly by my parents. e.g. I lent my brother / sister my things (some of which cost over a hundred US dollars) but they didn't take good care of my things, sometimes not returning or losing them. When I complained about that, my parents would scold me instead and even asked me to leave.

I have always been trying to treat them well with my care and concern for them and with lots of gifts for them and their families but my sister would even complained that I have wasted her honey for eating it.

There are many other scenarios which they make allegations on me but which I have thought over and over but still think I have not done anything wrong but they were taking advantage of me. When I finally complained, they put the blame on me. Now the whole family are reinforcing each other that I am always wrong and deserves that. They are reinforcing their negative perception of me.

I have often been suicidal for I have been struggling to stand back on my feet again and again for so many years with my problems.

Answer 1

Take a deep breath and realize that today is going to go by and you will grow stronger for it.

People in the world even those with so much money they can't count have had the feelings you are having right now.

It is not worth giving up over.

I will write more in a minute I just want you to know I heard you.

Diana

I want to add that killings one's self is not a solution.

There is nothing that can happen to you that there is not a resolution for, as long as you are willing to help yourself.

Look to programs in your area. Go to Children & Families for your state apply for aid, ask your church to help you find programs that will assist you.

There are more options out there that would help you become self suciffent than you could possibly imagine.

My mother killed herself by jumping off the Cosco Bridge in NJ and it did not settle anything except for her. It left my brothers and I with a loss so deep that it can never be filled. It solved nothing. Life is to short as it is.

I send you a hug and wish that tomorrow you get on the phone and call for some help.

Answer 2

I understand that right now you must feel really alone and like you have nowhere to turn. It isn't because of anything you have done. This is not your fault and you should not be the one in pain or feeling the negative affects, the reason you are feeling them is because you are going from one abusive relationship to another. I would definately go to counseling, if that is not a step you are ready for, you should seek out a shelter for abused women. They can assist you with your next life's step. Be strong.. You beat cancer, you can beat anything!! I understand how things can seem hopeless, but know that there is always hope, you know there is or you would not have made it this far in life. Pray, surround yourself with people and friends who make you happy. If your family is abusive, find somewhere else to live, even if it is subsdidized housing (check into your eligibility) and take some night classes. This will help you get your mind off all the things surrounding you and probably make you feel better about yourself. You know who you are. You know how strong you are. You know how good you are. Don't let anyone else take that from you. Know that you are never alone. Never give up and never give in. You win the battle by proving yourself worth not to them, but to yourself.