How can I handle a tough situation that involves family members?

Question

I recently came to know that my father has lately cheated on my Mom and is continuing to do so...I was very upset...but then I'm happy that he is very far from his lover so I still have time to save my parents marriage...Till now its very secretive and from my obervation he doesn't have any guilt, they have been married for quite a long time and the person with whom he's having an affair is 22 yrs younger..I really feel sick when i come face to face with him....My Mother is not soo strong person but then sometimes she behaves as if she had a tough time coping up with him...

My question is when and how shud i let my mother know about this..???

Answer 1

How old are you? If your old enough to sit with dad, talk to him. Let him know that you know that he is cheating. This may bring the divorce faster if your dad is staying at home to be with you. Why break your mom's heart first when you can come head to head with the one who is causing the trouble. Ask your dad what his intentions are towards you and your mother. Ask him does he understand the repercussions of his actions. If you are too young to handle this situation with your dad then I think the kindest thing you could do is wait till it all comes to a head and just be there for your mom. I would also bet on the fact that it won't be long before this all comes to a head. I'm sorry for the situation that you are in and wish you the best of luck

Answer 2

First off, it is not your place to tell your mother.  If she is at all intelligent, I'd bet she already knows.  

Before you resent your father so much, try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.  Are you surprised?  Has your parent's relationship been loving and happy all these years?  Does your mother treat your father with respect, or vice versa all the time?  Is your mother someone you would want to come home to, if your wife were the same way?  

There are two people in every relationship and I have trouble faulting the man for affairs (sure, he's guilty of having them and doing it), but there could be more going on then meets the eye.

Be careful how you approach this.  You don't want to say things that you really have no right saying.