How can I handle him?

Question

Okay, there's this guy I know and I wouldn't say we're 'good friends' at all really, but I do get this vibe from him like he could be more, he could do more, ya know that kind of vibe where you know he/she can become something. And I feel that from him. However... He's young, and fairly influential, and he and I have pretty much nothing in common, if not absolutely nothing. He's into things like violent video games, I don't think that's needed in a video game. He likes artist that I admit I don't know of, but I would say it's safe to say they do hard rock and/or metal music, and he's also into rap. I am not. Not at all, I think hard rock and metal are terrible influences on people and I fu*king hate c**p rap, excuse my language... But! He's into this stuff he thinks because his elder brother used to do it around him and so he caught on.

With this in mind, I would like some help and/or advice on how to handle him and maybe help him...become a 'brighter' person if you will. If...

Answer 1

Its seems like you are a compassionate person & you see his better qualities while also highlighting ones (which you do not like). Fair assessment.

How can you make someone a "better" person. A lot of it comes from "within" not from outside sources. I have seen it many times when a successful person with many gifts & talents has children who have similar abilities but do nothing but complain.

Maybe more in some ways since they are more privileged due to their parents hard work & ambition.

I think WANTING to become a better person & desiring to change for the best comes from maturity & also how "hungry" (for lack of a better word) a person is to become greater than the environment they are surrounded by ie. Family, friends, neighborhood.

I can give you an example with my ex- He is brilliant intellectually, took SATS in junior high & scored top 98th percentile in all the US. I saw the diploma & his mother always bragged about it, etc.. & he works hard than any man I know but he is always stuck in menial jobs where he is  like a slave to routine. He only finished his bachelors at 30 & he still lives at home. He has very little ambition. While his sister is not half as smart but she studied very hard & became a lawyer at 23- she had much more drive.

That is ultimately the difference.

Answer 2

Hi there, ^_^ I do not know if this will help you at all, are you sure he is one to be changed? What makes you think he can be/should be changed? I mean if he is meant to be changed won't he figure out to change on his own. Does he really need your help to change? From your writing I am guessing he has been having a difficult time finding himself, I am not sure though, but if he is I think he needs to find his own path and stuff and I do not think you can find it for him. ^^"Sorry if this is the wrong answer. FYI:The way I try making people brighter is with love and happyness and to some extent confidence ,even though I am repeatedly called shy I do not know why, again I do not know if this would help at all for I am me and that is my way I am not you and I fail to understand the whole situation

Answer 3

Ah Twilight my friend.  You seem juvenile

here. =)  This man likes you very much.

But you must learn to respect his wishes

as he does yours.  Although you may have

some differences,  that may even be

conflicting at times,  learn to appreciate his

good qualities, too.  If you want him to be

more than just a friend,  then perhaps you

may have to "lower"  your expectations, and

not your standards.  Simply because it

would be better if you just have fun, and

not take his interests to seiously.  After all

it is only temporary,  so enjoy the moment

while you can. Or else find someone better.

Answer 4

Move on before you are pulled to his level.

Answer 5

you could probably let  him listen to music you like.........maybe you could look at video games that arent too violent in a store..... but thats whats mostly out there [yea i miss ms pac man too]  many people are influenced by other people..... you could try having a good conversion and see where that goes...

hope i helped