How can I handle my grandson's mother?

Question

I have been caring for my now 1 year old grandson since he was 1 week old. Dad in federal prison, Mom in county jail waiting for sentencing. She got sentenced today. 6 months with time served. That would have her released by Oct 1..with time served. Drugs were a problem for both of them. Father agrees the best place for the child is with me. Father gave consent for custody. Mom said she would , But changed her mind while in jail..Says the guardienship paper was fine while she was gone and now she wants to come back to my house to live and have her son back. I have supported her when she was in and out of rehab and have always been on good terms.But not so good after a month long drug binge when she ran from a warrant. she did turned herself in on VOP in June, She refused visitation for me and her son. Would not call. Also wanted to know why I needed temporary custody. What were my intentions. I just want what is best for the child. I am not rich but do work.I was advised by an attorney to serve her papers and file for custody before she is released. . Also I filed fwith DCF for assistance for the baby. My concern is that if I do , it will cause a problem and I may end up never seeing this child again. We live in Florida.I own a home am 48 years old.

Mother is 19 and has never had a job or her own place to live has stayed with me for the past year off and on. No parenting skills. Hangs out with unsavory people. Drug dealers , drug users ect. I will not allow this in my home and she knows it. That is wy she was in and out of my house. She can't stay clean.

I would like to help but she doesn't listen.

So Should I let her come and live with us again, Or fight to keep her away? The girl even got the felony witheld. Just lost her Drivers License for 2 years. She was arrested for possison of oxycotin and pot.

Then 3 VOP.

Answer 1

i say u should follow ur heart but don't shut her out completely make her get into to counseling or something of that nature before u let her move in make sure u let her no its a one time thing if she messes up this time its over have a intervention with her  

Answer 2

talk  someone

Answer 3

Your grandson is adorable!

Honestly... there are too many stories out there about negligent mothers, who's children have passed away because they were out partying.

I don't know the legal proceedings or if you would have a good chance at keeping him or not, but if your attorney thinks you do then I would. Don't do it with the intention of never letting his mother see him again- let her know that if she can clean up her act and stay off the drugs and prove that she is able to be a proper mother for her child she can be.

She just needs to prove that she won't put his life in danger, and by being a drug user, and hanging out with the people she does she is putting his life in danger.  

Answer 4

Without money and being in jail she really isn't much of a threat.  Do as your attorney said.  Keep all communication that she does not want you and the child to visit her.

Of course she should not come to live with you, you already tried that and it didn't work.  

Answer 5

You are exactly right, since you want what is best for the child. You are like the child's mother if u have raised him since birth, i know most children want to be with their parents but in this child's case it sounds like he needs to be with u. That is your decision on letting her come back, but if i were u i would fight for custody! He sounds like he would have a great life with u. You would probably win the case being she has no place decent for the child to live and she is on drugs.Good Luck to what ever happens and i wish u and the child the best.