How can I help child be respectful?

Question

my grandson who is 8 years old started being very disrespectful at school and home along with family. he does great academically. do you think it would be a good idea to enroll him in a organized sport...karate? (he doesn't want to go) - -

Answer 1

If this is something that just started, please investigate a little why it started suddenly.  He didn't have ank kind of trauma such as a minor fall or something like that.  Also an asymptomatic infection could bring around a personality change.  Please make sure to rule out anything physical, before you make changes in the way you treat him.

Answer 2

You definitely have to remind him that he's just a child and mutual arts is always great!

Answer 3

The ONLY way to teach a child manners is by example.  When you're shopping with him or you take him to a restaurant, you smile and speak graciously to waiters and servers, you say please and thank you.  They really pick this up!

My parents didn't do this for me, so I was a very ungracious kid.  Around high school age I just realized that you can catch more flies with honey, and I started working on politeness and humility on my own.

I didn't get married and have kids, but I got to take care of a little boy, the grandchild of a friend.  I saw him maybe once a week, and I often took him to the zoo, the aquarium, museums, etc., but also to the hardware store, the bank, and my regular errands.  His mom asked me once how I had taught him manners.  At home, she said, he screams and throws things, but when we go out he speaks quietly, he asks for things in the nicest way, and he thanks people.  How did you get him to do that?  It turns out his mom had never taken him places.

If he doesn't want to get into an organized sport, he won't do well at it, so it's kind of useless.  By the time a kid is 8 he is not susceptible to 'behavior modification', except maybe by reward.  8^)

Answer 4

who cares what he wants to do? HE'S 8! you are the adult, and you have final say-so. martial arts might be the way to go, but a stict and consisent upbringing by you and his parents will go a long way. tell him to think about what he is going to say and would he like it if someone said that to him? if that doesn't work, punish him! time out, take away the video games, no bike, whatever. take this in hand now before it gets out of control!

Answer 5

Respect is learned and earned.

Disrespect is also learned. Talk to his parents!

Karate is not going to teach him manners and respect.

He is observing others being disrespectful, most likely at home.

Sorry Grandma!

Answer 6

If he's disrespectful, he doesn't get what he wants.  If he can't ask nicely, then you don't have to give him what he is asking for.  If he doesn't respond appropriately when asked to do something stop and remind him that he's being disrespectful and ask him to try again.  If he doesn't, try consequences like taking away favorite video games for a pre-specified period.  

The best way to teach respect is to demonstrate it... Do you use table manners at home?  Let him finish speaking before you interrupt?  Use please and thank you?  The household sets the standards for what expected behaviors are.  Start now because in a few years, peer groups will become far more important and if politeness and respect havent already become habitual, they certainly won't as a pre-teen!

An organized sport (in a church or community center league - even for 8 year olds some leagues are really competitive and the coaches/parents can be way too demanding/rude) or martial art is a great way of teaching teamwork, self-control,  and consideration for others.  If he doesn't want to go, negotiate.  Eg. if you sign up and do your best for the next six weeks, we'll get you that game you wanted (or you can visit the dinosaur museum or ??? whatever motivates him).