How can I help my 4 year old play with others?

Question

My son is 4 and has been in daycare for 2 years. I recently got fired and I'm going to be having a baby any day now so I decided to keep him home with me from now on. Our neighborhood has lots of kids from 4-10 that play outside. I have let my son go play with them for the last week while I watch from my porch. He has a lot of energy and talks really good for his age and when he goes out to play, he takes his Transformers toys with him. Well, he talks and talks and talks when he is with the other kids. Some of the other kids get annoyed with it. And yesterday, when he was walking past a house with a couple of 10 year olds in front of it, the 10 year old boys were calling my son another name other than his and he kept telling him that wasn't his name, and they told another 4 year old boy that was with my son that he shouldn't play with my son cause he is "r****d". I felt so bad for my son but I don't know how to help him relax when he's around other children and I don't know how to keep the other kids from picking on him. He's a really sensitive kid and I don't want kids to be bullying him before he's even in school. Any ideas?

Answer 1

The only thing I can tell you is talk to the parents that are bullying.  When he starts school just tell him to stick up for him self.  The one thing that I learned from being in school is a bully will back off if you stick up for your self.  I had a bully that would not leave me alone whan I was in middle school.  Well I was having a bad day one day.  She desided to corner me on the bus.  I stood up to her.  We were friends from then on.  I'm not saying that your son will have the same result.  But if he keeps being passive he will always be the one to be picked on.  Children are crule.  

Answer 2

My son is EXACTLY the same. He's 4 and talks and talks and is overly-friendly. He actually annoys the other kids, with all of his talking.

The only thing I can say is:  Invite only the kids his age to your house and do something REALLY cool, like a campout in the back yard / transformers party. Only the invited kids are allowed, so you can be there to watch everything that is going on.

I really don't know how to stop my kid from talking the way he does. Right now, I have him in swimming class and he can't even stop talking while he is swimming. If you start hosting cool stuff at your house, the kids will want to be associated with him.  One time I borrowed a projector from a friend and showed one of his DVDs projected against the back outside wall of the house. Then all the kids wanted to come. It cost me nothing apart from the popcorn and drinks.

When you have those kids at your house, you can start dropping hints like how it's not nice to hurt people's feelings.

While my son is still overly talkative, he has more friends.

Best of luck

Answer 3

you should go talk to those kids parents about it.

and sit your son down and ask him how he felt about those kids calling him those names. he'll tell you how he felt and then you tell him well some kids are mean honey but trust me there are more good kids out there then bad kids. and bring him over to a group of kids his age and just sit there and play with all of them for a bit and when you see he's engaged just say. i'm gunna go watch from the house you'll be fine. =] good luck

Answer 4

I agree w/ the above. Talk to the parents. Parents need to get involved before their child gets out of control and then they can't stop it. Teach your child to defend themself. Not to bully, but they do need to know that it is ok to stand up for themselves, and it's not ok for someone to be mean to them. Sadly some parents maybe in denial of their childs behavior, so be prepared to teach your child self defense. It's what I tought my son. My son was getting bit EVERYDAY in daycare, until his dad and I told him, next time it happens, bite him back. He did one time, and that's all it took. I'm sorry, but I will not stand for any child to be a target. I just hope that the other parents can do something about it.