How can I help my 6yr old son make friends?

Question

My son has been diagnosed with ADHD and sometimes has trouble with social interactions with the other kids at school.

Just before this easter break, he was not having a good day at school....being defiant, talking back to the teachers, and laughing when they said he may go to the principals office......Later that afternoon in math class, he purposely wrecked/squished 9 out of 19 playdoh projects right in front of the kids....needless to say, there were MANY upset and angry peers. He did apolagize,..but we are worried that his continuing neg actions and poor choices are making the other kids dislike him and label him bad. (I've actually had a kid from his class come up to me and say..."he is a bad kid!!...he is always in trouble". Not nice to hear,...and my son was upset by it. How can I help him realize, or learn how to make better choices, and want to do good in school?

Please advise!! thanks

Answer 1

Why does he have to have friends at 6 years old? I thought friends were a big deal a little later, around 12 or so.

Answer 2

These years will impact who he is the rest of his life. The best thing for him is martial arts class. Martial arts will strengthen the boy mentally,physically,socially,and maybe even spiritually according the teacher.

Answer 3

I agree that martial arts (like Tae Kwon Do) may help.  Look into it and have him take a few trial classes.   You might need to reach out to some parents and arrange get-togethers outside of school.  This way, kids will have an opportunity to see your son act like a good friend/playmate.    I'm a believer that kids do the best they can with what they have.  When they know better, they do better.  Get some professional help, acknowledge to parents and teachers that you know there are some problems and you're working on them, and most importantly, let you son know that you don't think he's "bad."  Once they hear this label enough, they start to believe it and then all hope is lost.

Answer 4

you should send him to school with invitations and have some kids come to ur house. he will hopefully make one friend

Answer 5

He could take an activity where he needs to concentrate a lot liek a martial arts class or something liek that.

i think that would be the best way to help him make friends and at the same time help with his ADHD problem.

Answer 6

Not that it can be controlled but I wish parent would teach their kids to respect others differences and have tolerance.

I do have to say I hope you have changed his diet and cut out sugar, junk  food, etc etc.

Answer 7

Have a party similar to a birthday party for classmates . Give them each a playdough kit. Have them do playdough at the party.

Ted Koppel on Nightline had a show about a family in the same pickle: With the school's permission they went to the school with many homemade snacks. They explained the disease to the children and asked for their assistance. [Their child was at home all the while]. It worked. Maybe ABC sells transcripts of the school for details of this school assembly?

Answer 8

i belive tae kwon go will help him plus were i go they alwasys play every one kung fu fighting

Answer 9

I was diagnosed with adult ADHD a few years ago. I am on and off the medication. I finally went to my doctor and asked to be put back on medication because I simply have to get through school and I am newly married and I have NO TOLERENCE for distractions. I didn't really notice that I had gotten calmer and less edgy. It was the people around me that commented. I can sit in the library and not be driven crazy by all the noise from the people around me. I'm older, I have no idea when or why libraries allow cell phone conversations, ipods so loud, I can hear them, the list is endless.... I'm getting along with my husband better, he's not DRIVING ME CRAZY with chewing, tapping, BREATHING.... you might think I'm kidding.... I'm not. I am into "alternative" methods and never go to "western" doctors, but I have to finish college and it takes a whole day for me to get to my doctor, so until summer comes, it's worth it to get through school and not let everything my husband does grate my nerves. If he has to take meds to get through school, then it's not much longer. This summer, you have everyday to spend with him and do whatever you need to. If he destroys something, it'll be yours and you'll understand. He needs help now.

Here's a site showing Doctors who practice the NAET technique. Call and talk to one. Talk to the patients in the waiting room, ask them how it's helped them. That's what I did in the beginning. I went there as a last resort, my life was on the line. I'm off all but now 2 meds, one to help me sleep and the one for ADHD, but hopefully I can get off them this summer. I used to try to understand how this technique worked, but now I don't care, I just know that it does.

Best wishes.

Answer 10

It will take several years of 'good' behavior before his peers go over his 'bad' behavior. My oldest has ADHD and while we were getting her straightened out, I had other children come up to me at pick up time and tell me how bad she was that day. It is now 3 years later and in middle school and she has made a few more friends. Most of them did not go to her elementary so they do not know how she was back then. It is hard, but remember he is only 6 and has a medical condition. The best thing you can do is to take him places where there are other children but you can watch him carefully for outbursts. Making and keeping friends is something he has to learn to do and the learning never ends. Talk to him about making good choices and how he would feel if a friend treated him poorly.

Answer 11

why are u people so scared to spank your kids whip his *** and teach him this isnt acceptable and if he continues on hit him harder till he gets the point it worked for thousands of years before you were thought of my kid has no friends because his mother bounced him from 3 schools and he is in kindergarden i wish i had the oppurtunity yours did handle your buisness

Answer 12

If you have a child with ADHD you know that he is impulsive and unable to control his anger. If you had a broken arm and were in pain complaining would you expect a doctor to say, just think to yourself it doesnt hurt, and then it wont? That wouldnt make sense would it? If you son has a serious case of ADHD which according to the DSM -VII is now called ADD with or without Hyperactivity then he needs medication. Why are we so afraid of the medication. He doesnt need to go to school and make friend dear, he needs to go to school and learn. As a teacher of many children who have this, I see the greatest success in kids on the medication. In fact, I have a new student this year whose parent moved him schools because of the stigma associated with him in regards to the peers around him. Once she got him on meds and saw the difference it made, she moved schools so he could have a fresh start. I can barely tell he has this awful disorder now. Your son is depending on you to make decisions and advocate for him. Why not give him a chance...give meds a chance? Why are you not willing to try them or have you already? I dont want to seem judgemental but his peers are forming decisions about him that HE will remember forever. It isnt fair to him not to try them if you are facing these kinds of behaviors. Eventually your son will percieve himself as bad. It is nice to give advice freely because legally I cant tell parents of my children to go for meds or I could be sued for the cost of meds because I made a diagnosis or recommendation. I can tell you in honesty that I have seen amazing success in children who are on meds. You would be amazed. I am a 27 female, not some old hag of a teacher that thinks every child should be medicated. I have a son myself and I know this is very challenging but do your son a favor and take care of this. You wont regret giving it a try! Good luck.

Answer 13

my friends son was the same. All the parents talked about him and his behaviour. She tried a few different medications and hit on the right one and the right amount. My son now says he is much better and tells the other kids to let him play as he is different now and plays nicely. He still gets in trouble occasionally but has improved immensly. Is your son medicated. I am not for all kids to be on meds but if he is truely ADHD then he might need to be for his own sake

Answer 14

i have always been soical but my little brother who has ADHD did not have such luck... first off dont froce firend ship dont make play dates or anything like that

Answer 15

I agree with those that recommended martial arts. At my center we offer Tae Kwon Do as an extra-curricular activity for the kids. Those that attend are more disciplined and respectful. He may also enjoy youth soccer or a youth group at the local library. If you live in a rural setting, 4h is also an option.