How can I help my 9 y/o son?

Question

My son is 9 years old. He is a wonderful, funny, extremely smart little boy. He is very giving and would give you the shirt off his back, but doesn't make friends easily. He goes to public school and is usually a loner. It isn't that he doesn't want friends, but he has already experienced being used for his kindness. Some of the kids bully him b/c he is a loner and doesn't do what they want him to. He has been basically robbed on the school bus by bigger kids who stole his candy when they were selling it for school b/c he just let them take it and didn't fight back b/c I've taught him to use his words instead of his fist. This isn't working. He is becoming more and more cynical and doesn't like school anymore because of it. Being his mom and #1 fan, I want to fix it, but if I step in, I'll be putting more pressure on him with his peers.

His father doesn't know of this or he would be on his bus with him and I'm trying to avoid that.

What can I do to help my son??

Answer 1

your son seems shy try to break him out of his shell when he isn't at home go out and talk to new people show him its OK to just talk to some one and meet people as for the bullying talk to a teacher or principal about the issues bullying can hurt his selfesteam which maybe the reason he has trouble making friends

Answer 2

I would like for you to genuinely consider enrolling your son in a TRADITIONAL martial arts class, not these new-age mixed martial arts classes.

When I was younger, I was a loner as well, I was a bookworm, nerd, geek, whatever you want to call it.  I always had a problem in school with the other students.  I would get beat up practically everyday.

This continued all the way to my sophomore year in high school.  When I turned 16 and started working, I was always a Bruce Lee fan, so I started taking Tae Kwon Do.  I will tell you that it was the best decision I ever made.

My instructor not only taught me how to defend my self, but in order to move up in rank, I had to maintain a C average or better in school.  I had to learn discipline, respect, and self control.  Not to mention that I lost that fear and shyness and because that negative energy had a positive outlet, I gained a higher self-esteem.  I still use the tenets Tae Kwon Do taught me to this day.

IF you consider this alternative, make sure that it is a traditional martial arts class, talk to the instructor and tell him what you hope to accomplish with your son.  They will help you accomplish this because in Eastern cultures, honor, integrity, and respect are held to the highest esteem.

Answer 3

ITS TIME TO GET THE SCHOOL SYSTEM INVOLVED.  BULLYING CAN BE A TERABLE THING.  STAY IN CONTACT WITH HIS TEACHERS AND ADMINISTRATERS AT SCHOOL SO THEY ARE AWARE OF THE PROBLEM.  DOES HE HAVE ANY OLDER SIBLINGS WHO COULD WATCH OUT FOR HIM AT SCHOOL.

AS FOR THE PROBLEM ON THE BUS I WOULD SAY DRIVE HIM TO SCHOOL YOURSELF.  IF HE MUST RIDE THE BUS, MAYBE IT WOULD BE A GOOD THING FOR YOU OR YOUR HUSBAND TO GET ON THE BUS WITH HIM AND LET THE DRIVER WHO IS

ODVIOUSLEY OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT UNDER THERE NOSE WHAT IS GOING ON.

Answer 4

Well I will tell you this,  sometimes kids don't know how to deall with other kids b/c they aren't taught how.  Let dad get on that bus and show the other kids they can't mess around with him. Let him know that ya'll back him 100%. Sometimes showing him how to face his bullies is the best thing.  Next enroll him in a karate class.  This will bolster his self confidence and teach him how to defend himself.  You don't want him becoming a bully but he needs to know that when the time comes ( and it will) that he can defend himself.

Answer 5

I've noticed that a lot of people have completely different personalities at school. I think the problem with your son may be that while he's himself at home, he's probably really shy and introverted at school. You should take him out to places more and get him to be around crowds, so he gets used to people and learns how to make friends and stand up for himself. However, if the bullying continues, you might want to call a teacher or the principal about it (sometimes this makes things worse, so be careful). But if he makes a friend that he goes on the bus with at school, the bullying may stop by itself, seeing as there would be two people to stand up for each other instead of one. But anyway, that's just my opinion. ^__^

Answer 6

Put him in some activites something he really enjoys my son went through the smae thing and the dctor told me to cater to his hobbies it iwll help boost his confidence if all else fails you a have to tell his dad he is a guy and may kno what to do to help.

Answer 7

I think it may be time to involve your hubby. Your son is becoming a young man, and there are things going on in his head that you as a woman may not be able to identify with. I agree totally about fighting with words, but he also has to be prepared to handle those that are to stupid for words. He is in a tough spot because he is honoring your request of not fighting, but as a young man knows that there is something else he should be doing.

I say all this and I don't have any sons, so I could be way off the mark. Either way he needs his father in his corner, you may have to tell him what is going on.