How can I help my baby to adjust to her caretaker?

Question

My mother in law will be taking care of our 5-month old girl once I go back to work next month and so we have started having practice sessions now when she is 4 months old. When I am around, all seems to go well but when I leave the house for two hours, I come back and the girl is crying so loud and hard that it breaks my heart. Once I take her into my arms, the crying stops..

What can I possibly do to help her? There is just no way I can afford to stay home with her and besides, she needs to learn to be around other people other than me.

Thanks

Answer 1

Find a way to parent your child full time.

Work an alternate shift than your husband, work weekends, find a way to work from home, sell on ebay, sell plasma, move to a more affordable home, sell your car....etc.

Don't let your child suffer. Find a way to make it work.

Answer 2

when you find out let me know!

my son's babysitter has been in his life since he was 6 weeks old (i returned to work at that time), but as for other people, like my parents, he goes bereserk! my new thing is going to my parents and my fiance's parents house more, so my son gets use to them. i will never get a babysitter for dates w/ my fiance if he's a terror! my son is 6 months old, thus far is KINDA working, but not that well. ....ahhh...i jsut want some love time w/ my man! arrgg.

ps. it's kinda cute though, right! i love when he prefers me to anyone else...i can't help it! lol

Answer 3

Is your mother-in-law caring for your daughter because it is something she really wants to do or is she feeling a bit obligated to do so?  Not all grandmas are up to the task of caring for their grandchildren on a regular schedule. Don't assume this is an arrangement that your mother-in-law is happy with.  I know quite a few grandmas who love their grandchildren immensely and will care for them on their terms, but prefer to be grandma and not "babysitter".  Speak with your mother-in-law concerning your concerns.  Does your baby always cry the whole time you are away?  She is a bit young for separation anxiety, but it may be possible she is going through this phase early.  If so, the best you can do is make your leaving as upbeat and consistent as possible then let your mother-in-law handle the situation while you are away.  If grandma knows her schedule and her preferred method of calming than it should get better.  I have been a mom for 29 years to 4 and I am grandma to 1, a 16 month old grandson.  I have also been a licensed child care provider in my home for 21 years.  It is not unusual for a parent to drop-off their baby and for all to be perfectly fine, but within minutes of the parent's return, we are in major melt-down and mom/dad arrive to find an unconsolable child.  It doesn't mean that the child spent his whole time crying, but is just having some bad moments.  Some children, including infants, can be more sensitive to a change in the familar and it will take them longer to settle in and become comfortable.  Other children and infants are happy and content with or without mom/dad around as long as they feel loved, secure, and have their needs met.  My guess is that your daughter is one of the more sensitive souls and it may take her several weeks to become used to a change in routine and enviornment.  In addition, if you are having any anxiety or worry about leaving her or are pre-occupied with having to go back to work, babies can sense the unease in their parents or their surroundings.  I think if you assure that your mother-in-law is completly on board with caring for her granddaughter and then keep your attitude light and happy when it is time to stay with grandma that your daughter will settle in and going to grandma's will probably become the high-light of her life.  I have cared part-time for my grandson since he was 4 months old.  We have developed a very close bond and he often seeks me out for comfort or loving even if mom and dad are around.  Even with my background of caring for other people's children, it still took a few weeks for me to learn my grandson's daily routine and habits as well as likes and dislikes.