How can I help my boyfriend who has PTSD from serving in Iraq war?

Question

He seems to be a bit self destructive and now his grandma was given less then a year to live from cancer. He came home last night drunk and messed up on nerves pills and wasn't really nice to me. He has no s*x drive.

Answer 1

In the middle of the night run into the room banging 2 pans togther while screaming at the top of your lungs "IED!!! IED!!!"

Wait, thats what NOT to do.

Answer 2

It is going to be nearly impossible for YOU to get help from the military because you are not a spouse, and if he is not willing to go on his own, then you need to make his situation known to someone who CAN help, like one of his parents.  I am glad that you are looking out for him, it MAY be PTSD, and it may be something else...  you should absolutely assist him in seeking counseling, but from previous experience, I can tell you that these guys aren't into that.  Some of them think it shows weakness to seek therapy, others have tried and haven't been assisted well through military channels.  If you know any of his friends from his unit, it would probably be good to talk to them FIRST rather than approach him directly.  These guys often take these suggestions better from peers who have "been there".  If you know any of his friends and can get in touch with them, talk it over with them.  I know that no one wants to see any body go through this stuff.  Do it for him.  This may be a really rough time in your relationship.  He may not be nice, and he may not have a s*x drive for a long time.  He does NOT have permission to be abusive toward you, but there may be a rift in your relationship.  DON'T let that stop you from HELPING him, and STAND BY YOUR MAN.  He NEEDS you now, even though he may not realize it at this point.  Speak to people who care about him that he is close with, and be honest (not overly dramatic) about what is actually going on.  DO NOT go directly to a commanding officer unless he threatens his life.  First go to friends in his unit and his parents.  Do it now.  The pills is what makes this an issue you need to deal with immediately.

You may also want to seek your own couseling APART from him, because it IS a dificult situation to handle, and it will be taxing on you.  Like I said, do all you can, and STAND BY HIM!  Getting yourself a little help as well will help you better understand what he's going through and what he needs.  I HIGHLY reccomend it.  If you cannot afford your own therapy (check with your insurance, they may cover a few sessions) then DEFINATELY go to the bookstore and start reading.  Here are some you can start to look though:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url...

Remember to lay off the guy.  Don't pressure him about s*x, don't make him make decissions about "what to eat for dinner tonight" and just generally don't be overwhelming and loud.  Be there for him, be understanding, be safe.  Being a military girlfriend/wife is a 24/7/365 job, and it takes A LOT more work and understanding then being a regular girlfriend/wife.  Your needs simply are not important at a time like this, and it takes a strong woman to know and understand that.

Good luck, my best wishes.

Answer 3

With PTSD the only sure way of coping with it is to seek professional help from a psychiatrist with exsperiance helping PTSD sufferers. It's not easy living with someone like that, so be prepared for massive high's and terrible low's. All you can do is be supportive and encouraging. If you really care for him, try not to run away from the hard times, deal with them. However, if he becomes violent, get away, and find someone who can intervene. If he is still enlisted in the Armed Forces you may want to contact his CO.  

Answer 4

He can get Help at the VA hospital. It is very difficult and very complex to deal with. He should be seeing a physchiatrist. My Husband has been suffering for PTSD as well. He did an 18 mth tour in Iraq(he is Army National Guard). If you are full time army, maybe there are some support groups your boyfriend can join. My husband's s*x drive is increased, even though he is on antidepressants( which decrease) and he is over 40. Each case is an individual, but maybe if he talked with someone it might help.

Answer 5

Call the VA hotline immediately.  I will include myself in this category in that sitting around giving what we think are correct answers to general questions is a way to get your 2 cents in.

This however is something that you need to address to a professional.

GET HIM THE HELP HE NEEDS IMMEDIATELY as the one stupid act that he does now might affect him for years to come and he will never be able to clean the slate.  Booze and drugs are a bad combination and "I'm sorry, it won't happen again" will not cut the mustard.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

You need to get him professional help. If he rejects help you can go to his 1st sergant and he can intervean to get him some help. Support him, let him know you are there for him, dont be pushy or nagging that will only make it worse. Just hang in there.

Proud military wife!

Answer 7

Be there but don't push...  

Answer 8

If you aren't a trained professional there isn't much you can do for PTSD.  You need to encourage him to seek professional help.  The military offers some help with this.  You could get some books from the library or bookstore on PTSD and see if there are any suggestions in there.  A professional counselor would be best.