How can I help my depressed, isolated brother?

Question

My brother married about 13 years ago and moved overseas because of his wife's job. Almost immediately, he developed very bad Chronic fatigue syndrome, and a couple of years later his marriage fell apart, to some extent because of the CFS and partly because he started to follow a strongly spiritual path.

He still lives in the same city, alone, in a boarding house and lives on a sickness benefit. He spends most of his time sleeping, meditating, chanting mantras and/or when possible seeing various Gurus when they visit the city (eg. Swamiji, Sri Chinmoy).

He is very intelligent, compassionate and in reasonable physical health, but certainly not "happy", and is convinced that he must spiritually purify himself further and become closer to "God". He has very little contact with other people, and virtually the only contact with his family over 8 or so years has been by irregular phone calls and occasional letters. I visited him in 2003, but only could spend a few hours over a couple of days with him, and he wouldn't let me see where he's living.

I've been trying for years to get him to come back to Australia, so his family (especially our mother who is unwell) can see him, and help and support him, but he is convinced that he "can't" and that it isn't the spiritually "right" thing for him to do.

Should I just respect that he is living his own life; doing what he "has" to do, or can I do something more to help him?

Obviously, he's an adult, but I know from personal experience that depression does require outside help, and I have no doubt that he's suffering from depression as well.

Answer 1

Actually, he sounds like a selfish hippie to me.  The time isn't right for him to see his family.  Sad, really sad, and very selfish.  Almost sounds like the prodigal son too.  He will definitely be back if there is a will to be read, mark my words to this sentence.  

Having said all this, tell him "Some members of the family worry that you are depressed in such a remote part of the world away from your familial support."  See what he has to say.

Answer 2

If you get the chance to talk to him again soon, ask him if he is depressed! You can't decide if he is happy based on a spiritual calling. Ask him if he ever feels lonely. Maybe he is fanatical...sometimes spirituality can be a bit obsessive. If its obsessive he may need help. If the man just wants to do what he believes is right with God and thats what he wants with his life, its his life. I doubt that I've really helped but I need more info....if possible from your brother. Good luck in your endeavers..you are a good brother. Worry not and things will work out in there own time perhaps.