How can I help my son get over a fear of swimming?

Question

Summer is on the way and we're dreaming of swimming. I need some advice on how to help my son get in the water (he is 5). In the summer we go to the pool about three times a week and he likes to play on the steps, gets his feet wet, but won't come in the water. He has the vest, he has the inflatable ring. I've tried carrying him in my arms. We dropped out of swimming lessons it was a catastrophe. The problem is at day camp last year they forced him into the pool on the first day (age 4!) and he was terrified, so he stays way clear of water unless I am there. He likes the wading pool in the park but he'll never learn to swim there, the water is up to his knees. Ideas? Stories?

Answer 1

You need to take it gradually.  Most phobias begin from something that happened in childhood - so it's important you do deal with this now so it doesn't carry through to a full blown phobia when he is older.

Keep up the carrying him in your arms.  Go in a little deeper each time, until he understands that he is safe, you're with him and there's nothing to be scared of.  Don't force him, but just continue to speak reassuring words as you are wading further into the water.  If he freaks out, then take him straight out of the water - this will show him that he can trust you, and make him feel safe.  With persistence, in time, it will work.

That's horrible what they did at day camp.  Especially to a 4 year old.  I hope you told them off for that.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

My youngest was the same exact way. he would love to go in water where he could reach the bottom like at the lake but would never go in far. When we went to our grandmothers pool he would not go in. I know this will sound mean but one day I put him in the tube and just made him stay and kept telling him "look you float, you will not go undr...seee" after a few minutes he stopped crying and I told him "kick your feet" that was that. He just needed to be shown that he would not sink. By the end of that summer he was jumping in with the tube on of course LOL

the following summer he learned to swim when we went camping and they had a pool with a shallow end where he could reach. He was 6 then. Now he's 8 and he's a pretty good swimmer.

Answer 3

put a SPRINKLER in the yard when its hot let him slowly get back into having fun in the water..

Answer 4

fill the bath tub up to the top and let them make a mess do this a few times there is also a hot tub not to deep and they can get use to big water  its not so much the depth it how big the water is long and wide  heck they know its deeep   start out in a very small pool like at a hotel

Answer 5

get the help of some trained swimming coach, but you can't do much if the child is not having will to learn the swimming, you need to develop the willingness first.

Answer 6

Buy one of those pools that holds about 3 feet of water. It rolls up when not in use. Then you can slowly fill it more each day as he gets used to being in it more and more. The cool this about this is that he'll have room to actually move around without bumping into other kids and he can come to terms with being in water on his own terms and time.

Answer 7

When my daughter was 4 she was at her grandmothers pool and wanted to jump off the diving board.  My MIL being the moron she is told her to go ahead, my daughter could not swim and she almost drowned, thankfully my hubby was close enough he jumped in clothes and all and got her.  After that she refused to go near the pool, we couldn't even get her to sit on the steps. The next year we had our pool put in at our house and I hired one of the lifeguards from the community to come out and give her private swim lessons.  It did cost a little more but they had the time then to work with her one on one and help her over come the fear of the water before they moved on.  it was baby steps all the way but by the end of summer she was in the pool and having fun and now she is 16 and a lifeguard at the Y in the summer.  Check with the pool manager and see about the private lessons maybe they can refer you to someone.

Answer 8

I agree with the person above. Don't push. Don't make a big deal about it. Let him enjoy the pool his way without pressure. Help him to feel safe, secure and confident no one will insist he swim. Maybe select some stories to read about swimming and read them at bed time. I think Franklin (the turtle) has quite a few about swimming.  Good luck with this and take it slow :)

Answer 9

Ya know, I got stuck under an inner tube when I was about 5... and I could hear everyone laughing around me... they thought I was joking, but I was terrified. And to this day I am still scared of the water.

The things that helped me growing up were pretty simple.

1-No one ever MADE me go into the water after that. They accepted that I was nervous... Invited me to play, but backed off if  I said no.

2-I went on boat rides. With a life jacket.

3-We used a pool that was well under my height. I looked ridiculous but there I was 6 in a kiddie pool.

I think the main thing is that trying to MAKE him get over it is not only impossible, but it's going to make him resist more. And trying  to reason with him isn't going to work... the terror he feels is real.

I would try to work with him slowly over the next few years... and make sure he has oppertunity to be around other kids his age swimming... sounds like you are. :) And in a few years try the swimming lessons again. Or try to teach him yourself. Kind of like riding a bike. Just hold on to him, keep reassuring him and talk him through all the steps. Tell him he doesn't have to worry. I always trusted my Mommy and Daddy not to let me get hurt in the water... and that went a long way for me getting over being afraid. :)

And try not to let people build up his fears. My nana is terrified of the water and she made everything worse. She'd go on and on about the dangers of water. Things i hadn't even thought of. That was my biggest hurdle. :(

Good Luck. It will get better, but it may take a while.

Answer 10

If he was terrified he most likely he won't get in the water, my nephew is 7 and still scared, his sister is three and fearless  She jumped in the hotel pool last year with no floaties and although she may have swallowed water she wanted to go back in.  Thank goodness we were all in the pool. All kids grow out of their fear.  Why dont you make him bubble baths and when he is in their say how cool it would be to be in a bigger pool and just tell him a pool is like a big bath.  Maybe even invite a little friend for him to go with.  When boys see their friends do something they want to do it too.  Don't force him and i it doesnt work there is always next year!  Good luck

Answer 11

I would hire a private swim instructor to work with him.  It sounds like he needs some one on one reassurance.  Sometiems that is best coming from someone outside the family.  He needs to be able to be comfortable in the water with you not there.  

I know it's hard, but for his safety I would look into a private instructor.