How can I help my wife who had a miscarriage?

Question

My wife had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, and she so far is dealing with it ok, but she still cries at night when we go to sleep. How can I help her get over it?

Answer 1

that is something that can't just be let go of. In time, she will get over it in her own way. The best thing to do is to keep her happy and help her to try to not think about it

Answer 2

you cant.

and she doesnt get over it.

its ALWAYS there. when she closes her eyes, when she wakes up, when she see's a pregnant woman, when she see's a baby. but in time, it doesnt hurt so much.

she will go through many emotions -

anger

denial

depression

replacement

blame

and finally, acceptance.

talks when she needs to talk, listen when she needs to shout, cuddle her when she needs to cry and leave her on her own when she needs space. dont crowd her, but dont ignore her. its hard to find a happy medium. me and my partner failed to find that medium and the relationship ended. but im now with someone else, happy and have my daughter. but the first little angel is always in my thoughts.

Answer 3

Hi i am really sorry to hear your news i had a miscarriage last september. I kept a brave face for my partner but whenever alone i also cried and especially when i went to bed i felt it was my fault that i had done something wrong i also felt that part of me was missing. My partner tried to comfort me but i kept a brave face and seemed to push him away i think deep down your partner may be feeling like i did i felt i had let him down and i would be selfish to show him i was upset as i was the one who lost his baby after time i realised that sometimes its for the best and its not always meant to be the best thing you can do is show your wife its not her fault and in no way do you blame her for what happened and together you can move on i wish you all the best in the future hope this has helped

Answer 4

She still has pregnancy hormones so what she is experiencing is kind of like post partum depression. Give her time, let her cry and support her by holding her and not blaming her.  

Answer 5

You don't just get over it. Nothing can be said or done to make it better she has to deal with it in her own time.

Answer 6

She'll never get over the sense of loss. I know this sounds to cliche but women at mom's the minute we find out we're pregnant, it's different for guys, they seem to have to touch the baby and see it.

Just be supportive of her. Be her shoulder to cry on, it's what she really needs right now. There are no quick remedies for make her feel better. Over time she'll have learned to deal with the loss, but will never forget about it.  

Answer 7

You really can't. Because I understand you're upset too but she's gonna feel like a failure, like why couldn't carry the baby. What you do is tell her if she wants to talk you're there for her, and you love her. And when she crys at night just hold her if she lets you, don't say it's gonna be okay, or I know. Just let her cry. And let her know your there if she wants to talk. I had a miscarriage and I know it's hard, and it's worse when people said it'll be okay. Good luck. Also look at parents.com they just had an article last month about how to help someone cope.  

Answer 8

Just give her support and hold her. Even though it was a miscarriage it is still a child, and losing a child is something that you don't just "get over." Give her time to grieve, it may take weeks and possibly months for her to heal, and move on, but it is something that is never "gotten over" and may haunt her for years down the road.  

Answer 9

Just be with her when she cries. Even though she doesn't seem too traumatized, anybody in that state could still use a familiar shoulder or just anyone that they feel close to. Both of you are clearly very affected by it, and honestly, much of the healing process is just gonna have to happen over time.

Miscarriages happen. Let her know that it is not her fault, in case she is blaming herself. Of course, it's not your fault either as a husband. Things happen, and there will ALWAYS be a second chance to have a baby.

Keep each others spirits up. Be a good husband, your wife needs you.

Answer 10

all you can do, is listen when she talks, hug her when she cries, even at night if she thinks you're asleep, don't argue back if she yells at you because she's boiling over, and most of all, don't syay anything that would suggest you feel that she's not getting over it, because the majority of women never do.

it's a loss for the father too, so maybe when you two talk you should show you understand her feeling of loss and take it from there.

good luck, i'm sorry for your loss.xx

Answer 11

post- partum therapy for both of you . It is really helpfully