Question:

How can I improve my self esteem? 13 yrs old!

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I'm 13 and made the WORST mistake of my life and lost my Virginity at 12. I know, it's bad. I really thought I loved this boy, but as you can probably guess, he used me. Now help me! I feel so stupid! This one group of kids always picks on me and I always cry about it! Pleease dont be a jerk about this!

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11 ANSWERS


  1. Eat healthy, work out, find something you really enjoy doing. If you have a focus in your life and something that you really care about and makes you happy your self esteem will go up. Talk to people you know you can trust and try and make peace with yourself.  


  2. Its your past and there is nothing you can do about it now. Don't feel stupid we all make mistakes and its ok you learned that when guys want to have s*x with you at a young age it is most likely to use you. Ignore the kids that make fun of you they are jerks. Mabey you can talk to a a guidance councilor or a parent about it to make you feel better.

    don't worry we all make mistakes =]

  3. So what ,you made a mistake. We all do and not only once ;we do it all through our life time.. The good thing is that we learn from this.. Look at it as a learing experience, look at what this mistake has done to your self esteem. Remember this; listen to yourself. You know what your morals are. You know what, people who pick on other people have low self esteem themself. They pick on you to make themself feel better. Any person who dosen't have low self esteem would not think of teasing some one who is feeling down they would try and help them..Does this tell you something??? Now you should know who ytour real friends are. Don't associate your self with people like that. They are just a bunch of loosers trying to make them self look big. Stick with people who care about you and just ignor the rest. The best way to ignor some one is just not acknowledge them. When rude remarks are made just pertend that you did not hear it and change the subject . You will be just fine, don' pay any attention to the rudies, they like nothing better than to get you upset and see yu cry,don't give them the satifaction of it.

  4. you just gotta pick yourself up and move on. you are probably a wonderful girl who just got really caught up in the whole junior high atmosphere, and you have a hopefully succesful life ahead of you. it all depends on you, and you need to know that that part of your life is over, and you get to control whatever happens now. idk if you have ever seen that one suite life episode, and i know its cheesy, but remember - you are the pilot of your own life :):)

  5. Came across this by a miss-click - so I don't have any actual thoughts that would help with your emotions.  But from a guy standpoint - we're all jerks, make us work for whatever we get, and never take love as a reason to give what you don't want to.  Mistakes are made by everyone - but most mistakes aren't lasting.  And you have to figure out whether your virginity really matters enough to keep you upset for years and years...

    Find a nice guy, don't date a jerk.  Treat yourself well, and be as happy as women should be in this life.  I'll date again when I can become someone who can please a woman in every way, instead of being just a guy - annoying, uncaring, and a bit of a jerk.  I'll date again when I can kiss her, love her - build her a house, and give her a massage, all in the same day.  Then I'll have no regrets that I treated her right.  Because that's what women deserve - pure happiness.

  6. You have to learn to love yourself. It might sound stupid but look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you.  School is tough. I went through a very similar thing when i was your age. I am now 21 and trust me it doesn't hurt forever. Don't let other people bother you. They only pick on you because it makes them feel better. Even if you don't have confidence act like you do. Ignore those kids and don't feed into it. Feeding into it will only make things worse and it wont make them stop. Walk with your head high. Act like you are better then them... because you know you are!!!!! They are scum... look down on them. They are the in mature ones. Listen to this song it always made me smile and feel better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0bjiyvWq...

    I think everything that they say is very true. Take care... if you need me i am here

  7. You are understandably distressed about a bad situation in your life.  It may be very hard to do, but you should seriously consider getting help from your parents, your school counselor, or your religious leader (anyone you can trust).  It's hard to talk to older people, but, believe me, they can be understanding and have help to offer you.  Your friends may give you advice, but even older people will know where you are coming from and can really help you.  It's too hard to pick yourself up sometimes.  Turn to people who can really help you turn your life around.  You don't want to make the same mistakes again, right?

  8. Get a job or interesting hobbie that will keep you busy.... talk with people socialise...

  9. forgive yourself for the mistake you made. your wonderful life is in front of you and you can live it however you wish. let go of the past, you can't change it but you do have some power over the present and the future. believe me, dear, we have all made mistakes like yours. you just pick yourself up and keep on going.  

  10. OMG!

    You lost you virginity at 12!!!

    Was it oral if it was your still a virgin if it was something else you aren't!

    Well um take a deep breath

    second:Take a relaxing bubble bath!

    Third: you got to tell your parents first or you will feel really awkward around them.

    fourth: Tell the person you did it with not to tell anyone and if he does you will seriously hurt him.

    fourth: Tell the kids who are making fun of you that you had never doesn't that before and it is just a lie.

    fifth:Just forget about it and you'll be fine! Upgrade your life!

    Also please email me I am 13 too!

    I am like totally bored right now lol!!

  11. If you continue to cry, they will continue to pick on you, for the perverse pleasure such immature and insensitive people derive from this.

    Self esteem is addressed in section 38 of my website, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and also view section 37. One way to emotionally ground yourself is through regular practice of the relaxation techniques in sections 2, 2.c, 11, or 2.i at ezy build, whichever works best for you: try them all, but some hours apart, to find yours.  

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