How can I keep from being bitter?

Question

I found out she was sleeping with someone, while she was "allowing" me to do the little things in her life. Fixing things, spending time with her kids, doing things for them, etc., etc.

I realize now that I was someone she turned to because she could count on me. I know I allowed myself to be used.

But...

I feel foolish for being angry, but I feel so much fury. What can I do?

Answer 1

Go and do one of her very Best friends.  

Answer 2

Is it really worth your while letting her get to you & in turn it's just making you miserable?  You can feel good in that you did things for the kids that brought happiness in their lives.  That had nothing to do with her, you did this out of the kindness of your heart & you know they appreciated every moment you spent time w/them.  So this should make you feel good in that respect.  As far as she goes, yes, I agree w/you that if she wanted things done, she should have at least asked the "other person" to do them for her instead of you.  You can just tell her that from now on she's going to have to get someone else to do all her "little favors" for her.  If it would make you feel better, you could tell her how you feel & get it off your chest once & for all.  But after you've done it, just let it go.  It's not worth taking up the room in your mind making you upset about it.  I think we've all done things we've had second tho'ts about at some time or another.  Do your best to put it in your past & it w/be a lesson learned.  But you honestly can feel good for bringing happiness in the children's lives, so that's a positive.  Just let go of the negative & don't beat yourself up over it.  At least you can be reassured you ARE a good person.    

Answer 3

there is no need for anger.  you did those deeds for her because you loved her and that is a blessing in itself.  now is the time to forgive her.  eventually you will find someone that will appreciate you and what you are all about.  

many people who are struggling find comfort in being physically held or touched.  sometimes the timing is very off, but this is a truth.  losing the sense of being touched in a good healthy way is all too easy and the temptation to fill that void can be too irresistable to some.  but losing a good person like yourself is the price that is paid for crossing that line.

Answer 4

I think you have a good reason to be bitter. Just don't let it get the best of you. lesson learned. It is sad because I'm sure you won't be so quick or trusting to go that far for someone again soon. But aren't you glad you now know . Don't feel foolish she is the fool that lost what sounds like a great guy .Keep your head held high.She will have to explain things to her kids.Plus who will fix things now ?Sure she feels like quite the fool herself.  

Answer 5

Well cut off ties with her.  Don't enter any relationships for at least eight months because you still need to recover.  Don't hate the kids.  Just be with friends, enjoy your life and return to happiness.