How can I keep going without my partner?

Question

I found my partner dead just under 4 yrs ago and I have been suffering with PTSD, Chronic Grief and Chronic Depression ever since. I have counselling weekly to help try to deal with the issues surrounding my partners death and other traumas I had happen years ago. Sometimes these other traumas takeover and stop me from feeling the grief.

I can't stop thinking about him and I wish he was here now. I now have some awful things going on between my mom and dad. My dad is becoming increasingly aggressive and sometimes violent towards my mom. This is fuelling my flashbacks and increasing the heartache caused from losing my partner. I find it so hard just to get up and dressed.

I just don't know how I can keep going.

PJ if you are reading this please contact me, I have lost your emails.

Sorry for rambling on

Answer 1

Try to make new friends, join a club, go to the library, start a hobby. You have to keep active in the life you have now. You absolutely have to try and keep positive, however hard it is. Possibly try volunteering. When I had a family death and subsequent breakdown and my partner of over 13 years couldn't cope with me anymore I thought it was the end of the world but I've now married someone I met volunteering and take each day at a time. That's all you can do. There is no magic solution. I wish you well for the future.

Answer 2

dont forget about him but go on with ur life

Answer 3

Think of one thing your looking forward to each day and get up for that. Once your up, meet people, talk to people.

tell your dad about how your feeling, if hes a good guy he'll understand.

Answer 4

Us humans we form very close relationships. Ones that are hard to break from

Your situiation is like someone who you had sewn into your life, and someone just ripped the stich out.

I would start out with going out with friends more. A relationship might not be a good idea until you are completely confortable.

Make your life worth something everyday. Maybe get a pet, so you know you have responsiblities and you have to get up out of bed every morning.

I would go to a councelor, they are very good to talk to. Or find a very good friend who you can tell anything too.

As for your parents, if you feel strong enough, confront your father about it.

Sorry for your loss, of both you and your state of mind.

Answer 5

Hi huni,

What you have been through is so much, much more than anyone person should ever have to cope with. You have done all the right things to recieve help and I hope that it will eventually make a huge difference to how you feel.

I can only imagine the pain you feel from loosing yoru partner and no one would expect you to just forget about him and move on and especially with the circumstances of how you found him it has made it all the more traumatic. Keep remember that you have already been 4 years without him with you in the physical sense and for that you should be proud.

Your dad shouldn't be allowed to do what he does and the only thing I can suggest is that a family meeting is held to tell him he is completely out of order and if he doesn't stop he can't live there, i know it seems harsh but so is bullying which is is doing.

Your doing the right thing getting help and hopefully when you have worked through each trauma you can eventually start to rebuild your life and hopefully experience some more good times!

xxxxxxx

Answer 6

if your dad's behavior is recently changed behavior then he might be the one  who needs treatment. Plus if your symptoms are returning, then weekly counselling might not be sufficient and you will probably require course of antidepressants. They will improve your coping capacity and help you get rid of the grief.