How can I keep men interested without having s*x?

Question

I am a college educated 25y/o woman, single no kids. I have a full-time job and have been told that I am very attractive. I am a sexual person and give off that energy (from what I've been told) but I am tired of one-night stands and flings. I meet men ALL the time. From all walks of life and it seems, that no matter how reserved I try to come off---they always are propositioning me for s*x. I am trying to get a committment BEFORE s*x. But how do I show interest or keep a guy around consistently without him thinking I'm being a tease? I have toned down how I dress and I even change topics if a guys starts to speak sexually---but why aren't guys trying to get to know me and DATE me seriously, take me out---why do I have to play like a referee in not letting them get s*x? What am I doing wrong? Should I just start telling guys, no s*x without a committment or should I just let things flow...

Answer 1

The guy worth pursuing is the one who will not expect s*x on the first date. He's the oen who will walk you to your door, kiss you on the cheek and then walk away and if he had a a good time, and knows you did aswell, he'll call again.

It was said before, it's the kind of guys you are allowing into your life. Don't search for this guy. He will come to you when you aren't looking.

let things build up.  

Answer 2

You should reevaluate the locations you choose to meet men.  If you go to bars and clubs, you'll meet guys who want s*x.  Try another place because the guys in your current venues want s*x and not relationships.

Try:

Parks

Churches

Bowling Alleys

Supermarkets

Coffee Shops

etc.

Look at the type of guy walking around an area.  Then go talk to the ones who don't look so purely sexual.  Try some nerds.  They'll be too shy to even touch you and you can get to know them.

Answer 3

Well if all you've been doing is having one-night stands, then that's the way you're going to get treated.  Your allowing men to treat you like a s*x object, not a woman.  If he's only there for s*x, it's because that's what he's getting!

Why don't you have a little more respect for yourself and make sure that no man is going to treat you like a piece of meat.  If you want to be treated like a diamond, then that's the way you have to act.  Don't tease him or announce that you are a sexual person.  Have a little class and discuss intelligent things when you meet men.  That's how you get to know them and why they're really with you.  

In today's society, woman think they have a great man if he's good in bed.  Well what the h**l is he like after that hour?  

When any man tries to have s*x with you, say "absolutely not" and if he doesn't like that, too bad!  Then he's not the one for you.  Before you know it, men will respect you highly.  

A man had to work really hard to have s*x with me and because of that I only slept with 2 men in my life.  The second one became my husband for 10 years.  That's what I was waiting for.  The man, not the dck!

Just remember;  You get out of this world, what you put into it.

Answer 4

My wife does it by being naturally beautiful, never having s*x, and acting like she's queen of the world.  She also had a big inheritance so that she didn't ever really have to work.  So she has this air of "I don't need you" and "I can take care of myself".  Because I'm a total dufus I keep coming around, 12 years later, playing with "our" kids, and wacking myself off after she goes to bed.  I just love being in the house with someone so powerful.  I dream of someday getting a big promotion at my company, and taking my trophy wife to a company dinner, and the CEO leans over and says to me "how much did you have to pay her... can I hire her for next weekend?"

Answer 5

Its not you.  Its the men you are choosing to date.

Choose a man with ethics and values.

Answer 6

I think you are just picking the wrong men. There are guys out there that want more than just s*x, and they arent as far and wide as we think. You know you can always refuse s*x when you are propositioned for it. That usually works as well. I think maybe you should change the places that you go to meet these men. Also, this seemed to help for me, get into sports. Try to learn a sport or two. That usually grabs a guys attention. That and a good conversation. I hope that helps.

Answer 7

It's not you, honey -- it's the way society is, now.  The Sexual Revolution really didn't do women any favors, because now men can indulge their sexual appetites pretty much freely, and there are a steady stream of women who are willing to spread 'em in the hope of luring them into further commitment.  If they aren't interested in commitment, then it's very easy to just move on to the next partner.

Think of it this way -- they can always proposition you, but that doesn't mean you have to say "yes"!   What you can say is, "Oh, I have to know someone MUCH better than I know you, now, before I decide to have s*x with them!"  Say it with a smile that you are, at least, willing to get to know them better. :-)  

Don't cheapen yourself -- you know your own worth, so stick to your guns.  Eventually, you'll meet a guy who is interested in developing a relationship with a woman who isn't looking a little worn around the edges from all the "experience" she has.  But they probably aren't at bars or clubs.  

Answer 8

I think you need to be more careful about who you choose to keep company with. There's a lot of good guys out there but you seem to meeting all the losers. Are you meeting them in bars or clubs or something? If so meet them through a friend instead, that they can be trusted.  

Answer 9

Stop dating guys that are GQ....Go out with a man that is a little on the shy nerdy side (Not Ugly, SHY)...maybe even average on looks. If your as good looking as you say that you are then you will probably have to be the one to start the conversation cause guys that are shy usually get intimidated by really good looking women but I can about guarantee that he will NOT be the type to take advantage of you. I speak from experience here being that I was always a shy guy. I always got attention from women I'm guessing cause I'm good looking but at an early age I didn't know how to relate to women so I was shy around them. I'm married now to a good woman and I made her wait 6 months before I would have s*x with her being that I cannot be sexual with a woman without having the emotional attachment to her which I feel has been a blessing in my life. Hope this gives you some hope that there are still some good men out there.

Answer 10

If you are giving it up, then you aren't going to attract a guy that will make a commitment.

There are some guys out there keeping score as to how fast you are willing to sleep with them, if its to fast, then they are gone.

No man wants a woman that will run into one of her lovers every time they turn a corner.

Answer 11

I would ask where you are meeting the men.  If it's at a bar, well drunk young college boys tend to lose any inhibitions and think everything's about s*x.  Avoid the bar scene.  You'll meet enough people in class that you can start to pick and choose.  I would put it up front when you begin dating that you are interested in connecting with them mentally and emotionally before physically.  That's not to say start talking marriage right off the bat, but set the expectation appropriately.

Answer 12

Guys really have that 6 sense, they can actually know who to make that kind of proposal, besides, your lips might be saying NO, but your body language tells them otherwise. Just give yourself a chance and act a little conservative.  

Answer 13

if you've tried everything -- i suggest being straight to the point.  coming from a guy like myself, it helps to just get straight to the point.  

Answer 14

Get them a lobotomy.

Answer 15

If that's your perception, the tell them. there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with you but the men are. You can always find the right guy for you. Men that are perverts, reject them. They're useless. Never find for a guy. The right guy will come to you in time. You will just have to wait. =)) hope this helps...

Answer 16

have something to offer besides s*x....intelligent conversation perhaps...quit meeting men in the places you are currently meeting them.......try something new, like volunteering for a cause you believe in or take up a sport you always wanted to play

Answer 17

I think you may just be putting out too easily.  If you can give a month or so of dating before you put out, thats about as much as can be expected without being thought of as a tease.  Never sleep with anyone on the first couple dates if your honestly interested in keeping them around.  It's better to let feelings grow first.