How can I keep my values and my worth as a person after a break up? ?

Question

What can I do next? My boyfriend of almost 2 years went back to the philippines to visit his family. He is still friends with his Ex gf (the one that cheated on him & dumped him for his bestfriend) and was spending time with her most of the time. He came back and told me about, I was cool with it and forgot about it. 3 days after that conversation he was acting really weird, I sense the betrayal and the lying right away. The first thing that came in mind was his ex gf (who is still with his bestfriend) and the only answer I can find was to check his emails & found out that he was communicating with this girl & how they both plan to keep their relationship a secret. I reacted right away, called him and broke off the relationship. I was cheated once before I met him and I knew exactly what it feels to be betrayed. I was never bitter, and the only thing I told him was that because I loved him ill let him go. It was painful but I didn't want to go through it again. I have morals and values in life and is well educated, with a great future ahead of me. What can I do to keep my values and start over again? I will never settle for less.

Answer 1

just because you broke up with your boyfriend does not mean that you lost those morals and values it just means that you broke up with your boyfriend, feel bad, for as long as you need to then move on, there is someone out there who is waiting for you!

Answer 2

if you have morals and values - i promise you, you have way more going for you than 99.99999% of the population. you will find someone who deserves you  - it si just a matter of time and of keeping a picture in your mind of what kind of guy you want.  

Answer 3

it looks like the decision you made was based upon a strong set of values. Integrity in other words. A history of 2 years is difficult to just forget, but look at it this way: had you not gathered the resolve to do what you did, imagine how much longer you could have been in a relationship that was nothing more than a lie, and provided if you would have remained long enough you may have settled for being settled for, which is unfair to you. No use compromising who you are because someone else has infidelity issues. In addition to my giving you kudos, I suggest you pat yourself on the back for taking that initiative. Most women tend to be gluttons for punishment and find themselves in a really bad way actually believing that all the bad c**p in relationships that come their way is what they deserve, but not you-no ma'am.

A girl who can do what you did, speaks volumes concerning who you are. And such a woman is a catch, so don't worry if the day ever comes when he runs back to you (which to some measure I'm sure you hope happens but you're probably better off with someone who respects you enough as a person to be honest with you) you'll probably either not want him back or forgotten why you were with him in the first place.

Answer 4

You knew when you checked the e-mails before you read them, its the gut feeling that is always right.you did just fine and not everyone cheats you will find that great someone you wont even have to check the e-mails.

Answer 5

Sounds like you are living your life by your values... you value faithfulness and are not accepting less in your relationship.  Hats off to you.

Still, any loss )and breaking up is definitely a loss) has a grief process to go through...that's natural and to be expected.  Allow yourself to grieve, have those moments of sorrow.  Always remember...this too shall pass.

As far as starting over...it's a one day at a time deal.  Just like life itself.  Renew old friendships, rediscover some of your old interests and/or investigate some new ones.  

Answer 6

i love the way you think!... you're doing the right thing by thinking about yourself first and just staying focused i bet it hurted real bad i've been through something alike and i've been scared since then and well the only thing that i had left was to move and and be happy... so what your doing right now is Perfect in my eyes... and by the way don't think about starting all over again just continue your life as Positive as possible... Good Luck and i would like to talk to you i like your ideals.... :)