How can I learn to calm down?

Question

I notice that little things tend to get me so uneasy.

Like today, I got so fed with learning how to reverse into these cones on our driveway(My driving test is next Saturday!)...I got fed up b/c I had to figure out by myself how to get in those cones....and I accidently hit the truck next to the cones!

My dad and uncle showed me and they made it look so easy...but I couldnt do it at all!

I just gave up and cried....

My dad said that I am always overly anxious. My ma says that I overreact on everything....

Idk how to combat this...if I dont I will never learn how to drive or do other new things in life.

I want to stop being so anxious b/c I feel I will get a heart attack when I get older.

I obsess over alot of stuff. And I am always rushing for things I want.

I just want tips on how I can cope with things.

Please dont advise drugs.

Answer 1

I would advise talking to a therapist. I am very familiar with OCD and you describe most of the manifestations of this disorder. Which means without professional help you will find a hard time coping.

Answer 2

Create an environment where you can think -- somewhere quiet, without interruption for a while, and preferably candle-lit.  

Think about what expectations you have of yourself and for others in your life.  Your expectations need to be adjusted to allow for human error and failure.  It is when we do not expect to be disappointed that we often are because it is just impossible to be perfect and to expect others to be perfect.

You are at an age where your insight is developing and can become one of your strongest assets throughout your life.  Insight embraces truth and fact, disposing of fiction and unrealistic beliefs.  Your beliefs are requiring to be questioned and changed if deemed necessary.

Expectations.  Beliefs.  Perfection.  Use these aspects to your advantage.  You are in control of them, they are not in control of you.  Error and failure are facts of everyday life for everyone, even you.  Let it be, let it happen, it will pass, it is necessary for growth and development.

Embrace humor as your response to human behavior -- yours and others'.  Laugh with life rather than be angry and anxious against it.  You have many years ahead in which to enjoy the adventure of life.  If looked upon from that perspective, failure and error are reality just as success and achievement are reality.  Use one to get the other.  More often.  That is insight and wisdom.  

Answer 3

I feel bad for you. I am what the psychiatrists call someone with "panic disorder". For quite a while anything would unhinge me, even nothing. Just sitting on my computer I would get a panic attack from it. It's the WORST type of life you can lead, with the fear around every corner.

The first instinct of mine was to take drugs, like anti-panic or anti-depressants. But that just takes care of the problem as long as you're taking the medication. I learned with time to control the strength of my panic attacks. I would stop the fear at its source, stop fearing the next attack, stop giving it fuel to burn. Then, the amount of attacks went down. When I felt a panic attack come, I would bury it by stopping the fear of it. I knew none of the symptoms would kill me, and I knew it only continues as long as I give it the power to. To stop the fear, I would focus on something outside of myself, and give it extreme power in my mind. Instead of focusing on the symptoms of fear (fast heartbeat, dizziness, hard to breathe) I would focus on the object, and describe it to myself. I would even build a story around it, and give it extreme importance. I would then sing or write or something creative that doesn't let you focus on yourself. Little by little, the panic would leave.

You don't conquer fear and anxiety by fueling the fear, and hyping it up. You have to face it and laugh at it, because it's just some stupid chemicals in your brain. Fear is the one thing that can't survive being undervalued and laughed at.