How can I learn to love the girl I nanny for now as much as I loved the first girl I nannied for?

Question

I seem to always get more attached to the kids I meet first in a given situation. I worked at a daycare for two years and, while I loved all the babies I had in my room during my time there, the first group I had was always--and still is--the most special to me. Those are the kids I think about and miss most, and always had stronger bonds with.

Likewise, I nannied for a little girl for a year and became very attached to her, and vice versa. Because she got overly attached to me her parents broke off our little relationship and I haven't seen her for three months now. Two weeks ago I started nannying for another little girl and, while I think we'll form a good bond, already I know that it won't be as strong as the bond I had with the first girl I nannied.

Why are my attachments to these children stronger "the first time around" than they are in later experiences? It makes me so sad that I no longer seem to form bonds as strong as those I had with the first few kids I watched. I want to form a healthy but strong relationship with the girl I am nannying now, but I'm worried I won't be able to.

How can I learn to love these "later" kids as much as I loved the "first" kids?

Answer 1

Just give it time, once you've established relationships with them, I'm sure the love will grow and flourish. Don't fret.

Answer 2

If the bond with the 1st little girl you cared for was so strong that the parents were so uncomfortable that they fired you; I don't think it was a healthy bond.

Part of being a nanny/child care provider is being able to keep a certain level of professionalism, you're not supposed to have favorites.  You need to focus on building a relationship where the child respects and listens to you.  It's not healthy for a child to get so attached to you, because you're going to leave that child's life at some point.