How can I learn to stop comparing my own success to others?

Question

I'm 22. I wasn't a great student until my later years in high school because I didn't like school until I found AP classes which I actually liked. After high school I work for 3 years and lived on my own until I finally figured out what I wanted to do for a career. I wasn't accepted to college as a full time student because of my bad high school grades, so I had to spend 3 semesters as a part time student to get enough credits to become a full time student, which I will be in the upcoming fall semester.

My home town was a c**p hole where alot of my high school classmates ended up being "townies", having kids, and staying in that c**p hole. However, I keep running in to people I went to high school with who just graduated from college, and most of these people were ones I didn't like in high school and thought of them as idiots.

It makes me feel like a failure to see these idiots I went to school with being more successful than me. I have alot of plans and goals, it just took me a long time to figure them out.

Anyone having any advice on how to stop comparing my success to other people, and stop feel inadequate?

Answer 1

Stop measuring your success in relation to others. They have their goals you have yours. "They" are not making you feel inadequate, YOU are. You need to rid your mind of negative thought, you govern your thought processes, they do not govern you my friend. Focus on your future, be more positive and give yourself a pat on the back for your achievements, lighten up and be more kind to yourself, it is you who is beating you up over this no one else. Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare?    

Answer 2

You will always find people who are more successfully than you are, no matter how rich or popular you might be. Your thinking can ruin your life. How do you measure success?

Answer 3

Google a short piece called Desiderata. It answers your question perfectly more than anyone can I think. Congratulations on your focus - I hope it takes you far. Best wishes. UK

Answer 4

First - Practice a technique called "thought-stopping".  Each time these negative thoughts come into your mind, cosciously acknowledge the and refuse to continue the thought.

Second - Recognize that the thoughts you entertain are a choice.  You are in control of how you live your life, who you surround yourself with, and what external forces you allow to affect you.  

Third and most importantly - Know that the thoughts and judgments you are entertaining in your own mind are ONLY perception.  Perceptions are often innacurate and you learn later in life that while you compared yourself to others and put yourself down, you were really great in comparison.  

Fourth - Focus should be your key.  You have a goal and you need to focus on it and not let anything get in the way.  In the next several years, you will be very surprised to find out where people actually are and what the big picture looks like.

Read some of Deepak Chopra's work, you may get a lot out of thinking about things more objectively.  It sounds like you are pretty immersed in comparing yourself to others around you.  You need to get out of that mind set and move forward.  

Also, read about having an Internal Locus of Control.  If someone has an internal locus of control, they recognize that their actions, thoughts and behaviors directly impact the rest of their lives.  They do not feel done unto.  Instead, they feel empowered that if they really want something, they have the power to make it happen.

Answer 5

A great man once said " Be nice to nerds, you may be working for them someday."  

Answer 6

What's important is that you know what you want and you are now going after your dreams.  I consider that a major success.  So, should you.