How can I live a life worthy of a Feminist- and still have fun?

Question

you have to understand that I'm single for the first time in my life. I left a nine year marriage but I'm only twenty nine. For me, the concept of being single is a hard one. I've always revolved around a man and I'm really disillusioned with the dating scene already. I'm looking for affirmation and some tips on how to be a strong, happy, single woman. I'm also looking for tips on dating - it seems very different to the last time I encountered it - they expect s*x much sooner, want fun rather than depth, have a habit of overlapping people, and don't take their time to get to know you. So any tips to wise me up or on how to be a happy, strong, single woman would be good.

Answer 1

You need to join another movement unless you can have fun by putting men down and saying mean nasty things about them.

Answer 2

a feminist is not a particular type - it is a person who agrees that females and males are equally worthy and deserve equal pay, job opportunities, housing, education etc and that women and girls should be able to go anywhere without be sexually insulted or assaulted.

Answer 3

Here is a tip that will keep you happy in the long run: keep your standards high. This will come in handy, especially when it comes to men. Don't accept anything or anyone less than what you are looking for, and you'll find it.

Answer 4

Not getting your question at all.  

Answer 5

Good character and moral fiber are not gender specific, you should be your own best judge of what makes you happy and what you find acceptable in behavior in your search for a significant other.  In dating yours and everyone else's task is to maintain personal dignity while looking for a suitable level of compatibility in a partner, realizing that you may never find a perfect match.   If you feel uneasy engaging in sexual intimacy on a first or second date, you are not flashing your credentials as a confirmed spinster, you are demonstrating your worthy principles, and any bloke who doesn't get this, is not worth your time, no matter how much you are attracted to him.

Also, do not let feminism define you wholly as a woman, although the reasons and cause for the advent of feminism are very understandable,  it has, over the years, fallen victim to some narrow minded extremists, with bizarre and way out agendas, tainting the word, frame of mind, movement, however you wish to define feminism, with less than a reputable basis in logical integrity and intellectual gravitas.

Who can forget such priceless rhetorical gems like: "A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle"?   All stereotypes are unfortunate, and all stereotypes are unfortunately based on some truths, so if you do not wish to be immediately perceived as an angry, quasy L*****n that doesn't shave or provide adequate breast support, I would not use the label of feminist as the one to define you..  

Answer 6

"they expect s*x much sooner" and that is a problem why ? You want a good man and "depth" and intimacy but he has to go on with no s*x ? So in your opinion what is a man to do, aliment the p**n industry, finance the trafficking of women or hope for a wet dream ?

Answer 7

What do you mean?  Feminists party, go out, shop, and have various hobbies.  What, do you think we sit around all day reading feminists books and not shaving?

Answer 8

I'm not sure where you get the idea feminists don't have fun - I know feminism makes me happier than I ever was before I got involved in it, because to me it is a weapon against a lot of things in our patriarchal society which made me unhappy.....it has definitely enriched my life by altering my perceptions on a lot of stuff....as a result i'm more assertive and confident and my self esteem is absolutely so much higher!

I suggest you forget about dating for a while.  This will be hard but will be great for you in the long run.  Take time to discover more about you and who you are, what makes you tick.  Enjoy doing stuff just for you.  This could involve getting a job as someone suggested, or voluntary work, taking up new hobbies, learning something new, doing a course etc.  Some stuff to challenge you.  It will enrich your life.

After a while you'll be ready to start dating again, but probably more assertive and sure of what you are looking for due to taking time out.  Don't have s*x just cos men expect it now.  There are men out there who are happy to wait and will perfer your attitude.  If you are looking for depth then be sure to look in the right places!  Try online dating perhaps, i would imagine you can learn more about a guy from reading his profile.  If you don't put getting another relationship at the centre of your world you are more likely to find a healthy, strong relationship...and guys will find you more attractive anyway if you have lots of stuff going on in your life and don't seem to be preoccupied with meeting a guy.  Good luck.

Answer 9

The best way to have fun is to set your own agenda, something that feminists are very good at.  Decide what makes you happy and go for it!

BTW, love your avatar.  Looks like somebody I know.  =;o)

Answer 10

As long as you don't do anything that compromises your personal values or dishonors you, you'll be fine.  

When I was single, I discovered that men who did volunteer work were much better people than the jerks whose lives revolved around gyms and bars.  Try Habitat for Humanity, or find something that suits you at volunteermatch.org

Congratulations on entering this new stage of your life, and good luck.

Answer 11

You don't sound like a feminist.  "I always revolved around a man?"  You don't need a man to make you happy.  Lots of them come with baggage that you really don't want anyway.  Kudos on your criticisms of the modern heterosexual man though.  That description fits the image perfectly (not all men, but most).  I think you should get a job that you love doing, and where you're treated equally.  Make a lot of friends there.  Then you can all do things that you have fun doing like seeing movies, etc.