How can I make my husband feel more secure?

Question

I had a gastric bypass in March. I have lost about 100 lbs & I have always been a confident person & only chose to have this surgery for health reasons. I feel like the same person but everyone including my husband is treating me differently. We have been together since 8th grade (16 yrs) we have always had a healthy secure relationship but now he is acting all weird. He is really jeleous & insecure. He is really clingy. (I can't pee alone) It is driving me crazy. I have tried talking to him but he just says he is insecure at the divorce rate of bypass patients. We have always had a fantastic relationship & I was skinny when I met him & he didn't act this way. What can I do to make him feel more secure?

Answer 1

He's scared he'll lose you. Just make sure you give him a lot of attention and thing will go back to normal.  

Answer 2

im sure it will wear off in time bit like when u first meet its nice 2 no he likes the new you tell him its nice he gives u this attention but he has 2 stand back a bit because hes suffocating u and ur not used 2 all this attention let him no he is the only man 4 u and nothings changed  

Answer 3

Just continue to be loving,& if he continues to be insecure,I suggest counseling.

Answer 4

get a copy of the book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". Tell him you're reading it because you love him.

Answer 5

Have lots of s*x with him and look him in the eye and tell him how s**y he is to you....and do all those things men really like and seldom get.

Answer 6

s*x & public displays of affection. Grab his *** in front of a good looking guy when you're at the store.  Whisper something dirty in his ear when you're at the movies.  Grab his hand and put it on you in front of other men.  This should let him know that you still find him attractive and you're letting other men know that you are all his.

And back to the s*x, initiate it!  Both intercourse and oral.  Nothing boosts a man's self-esteem more than an unexpected sexual initiation.  When he gets out of the shower, be waiting for him in some s**y lingerie on the bed.  

Make sure he knows he's the man, especially in front of other people.  If he has his friends over, get them all a round of beers, then kiss your husband hard, but quickly, and ask him if he needs anything else.  

Hopefully this helps!  

Answer 7

Communication is the key... Talk to him and sort things out... Re assure him whenever he feels insecure... You have to play your part... If not this insecurity would kill him too

Answer 8

I have heard this scenario several times. It is common.  He is insecure but he will get through it.  He felt safe with you all these years and let his guard down.  He now sees you differently. You probably have lots of energy and self esteem lately and that kind of scares him.  You have renewed yourself and he is the same ole' guy so yeah he probably is insecure.  He will adjust fine with a little time as long as you don't give him reason not to.  Hold his hand in public so he can feel like a stud with a hot chic and don't be flirty with any one but him.

I'm happy for you.  Good luck on the new you

Answer 9

First of all congratulations on your weight loss! 100 lbs, you go girl!

I think that sometimes men have a huge misperception when it comes to why women want to lose weight. I am sure he knows you were concerned about your health, but there maybe a small part of him that thinks you really are looking for something better. I know it's silly, lol, but I have definitely heard stories about this.

You may also be carrying yourself better due to the weight loss and that may make him somehow think that you are looking for attention. Really, the ball is in his court. All you can do is let him know that you are his and his alone just like you have been. He also needs to know that the way he is behaving could cause bigger problems in the relationship if he continues down that road. He needs to see that this is a "big deal". It isn't your job to always make sure he is trusting you.

Good luck to you! Hope this helps!

Answer 10

Do something special for him.  Give him some time to adjust.  If that doesn't work, it's time for a serious talk.  He should be happy for you and more supportive.  If he continues to act like this, he should be worried.