How can I motivate my 8 year old to sleep in his own bed?

Question

My son who is 8 still comes and gets in the bed with my husband and I in the middle of the night. I have finally got him to go to sleep in his own bed but when he comes in I just can't say no. I actually love him in the bed with us but it is distrubing my husbands sleep, who is a very patient and loving parent. We just don't all fit and I really don't think he should be sleeping with us anyway, for his own good. Any suggestions.

Answer 1

u need to say "no, go back to your own bed. "

no magical cure.

Answer 2

I baby sit my neighbor, David, David would not sleep in his bed until I began to read him stories every night like The Cat in the Hat, then since he had a t.v. in his room I turned it on and set the sleep for one hour. Now he can't wait until bed time!

Answer 3

We have 3 boys and a girl. Our boys are 17, 8 and 8. Our oldest and one of our twins has made appearances in and out of our room and bed for years. We never could say no either, but sometimes didn't get the chance to.(smart kids)The oldest could be found sleeping at the foot of our bed, on the floor, until he was about 10. He wouldn't make a sound during the night, just come in, with blanket and pillow in hand. This was usually after a bad dream or an accident ( he wet his bed until about 13). Our one twin still comes in and makes a nest at the foot of our bed ( we have a king size) away from our feet, and we are none the wiser until morning.( thank God only our oldest got the bedwetting gene from both of us). On a many occasions, when we discover him there,we have both asked the twin to return to his own bed. Especially when he tries to get in between my wife and I. It's too crowded and neither of us can sleep. Normally he will go back. Sometimes I take him and tuck him back in, sometimes my wife does. Even in a king size, I swear the kid can take up more room than me! Until he was about 5, we didn't mind him in with us. After that the incidents became fewer, but still occur.

The twins are our youngest. I still carry them to bed, or back to bed, if they ask. If he comes in late at night, and I feel him get in bed with us, I give him 15 or so minutes, then ask him to go back to bed. Just like you, my wife and I cannot reject any of our kids needing us. He is there because he needs his Mom and Dad right then. What would a few minutes hurt to let him lay there next to us? As long as it doesn't happen every night. Kids can get used to sleeping with you. You cannot let that happen. It is important that they see your room as an option if they need you, not a norm. This independence at night needs to be maintained to some degree. 8 is old enough to have this independence. If you don't fit physically in your bed, thats a good enough reason, and shouldn't hurt his feelings, to go back to his own bed. We would tell our boys to come back in the morning when you get up. His twin brother and our daughter have only been in bed with us 2-3 times in their life.

Answer 4

YOU ARE GROUDED

Answer 5

Hello

Mabe you could buy him new bed clothes and pjs and tell him that because hes a big boy he needs to sleep in his own bed

Say he like spiderman you should say to him

"when spiderman was 8 he slep in him own bed "

try saying stuff like that

good luck

=)

Answer 6

Have him chose a nightlight that he likes at the store.  Use a calendar and reward him with a sticker for each night he fully sleeps in his own bed.  After each full successful  week, give him a reward of some kind.  Then gradually stretch the reward out to 2 weeks, then 3, then a month.  Hopefully, by then he'll be all on his own.

Be firm about this.  8 years old is too old to be sleeping with his parents.

Best wishes to you.

(Don't use a tv in his room to lure him in there.  That's just trading one bad habit for another).

Answer 7

"but when he comes in I just can't say no."  Well either you say no or you're going to have a teenaged boy sleeping between you and your husband.  I suggest that when he comes in you say no, and send him back to his room.

Answer 8

I bought a bunkbed for my 7 year old, $500 bucks, he's asked for one for years. He won't sleep in it. When we talked about it I found out he has frequent "scary" dreams. I feel like he is growing fast enough and it won't be long before I will miss his little self safely snug beside me. Enjoy it, he will grow up faster than you want him too, and you can say, remember when you used to fit in here?

Answer 9

What! at 8 you just tell him to "get in your own bed..now" weird!

Answer 10

Grow a spine. Yes, you love your son. But you need to stop coddling him and act like a f**king parent.

Answer 11

I don't know I have never let my kids go past 2-3 years of age wanting to sleep with me.

Maybe make his bedroom more what he likes. Maybe buy him a new bed. Something that he picks out.

I don't know. Being 8 he should have been sleeping in his own bed years ago!

Talk to your son about it, explain to him that he is getting way too big to be sleeping with his parents.

Answer 12

lock your door, hes plenty old enough to comprehend what "no" means. all you have to do is be able to say and enforce it.

Answer 13

Just tell him he can't come sleep with you in the night. You could offer other options...

During the day if you lay down and rest he can lay down and rest with you.

Or if you watch a movie or something thats a good cuddling time.

I have little girls and the older two are 7 and 9. I just don't find it appropriate for them to sleep in my bed at night while a "man" is in my bed. Daddy or not!