How can I motivate my daughter to do her school work?

Question

She is being homeschooled (Abeka DVD program) and it seems like if you don't sit next to her and keep telling her to do the next thing, she will just waste all day. The biggest problem is that I have the same problem at work.

Answer 1

make it fun give rewards if she gets done like 5$ or something my mom does that, or tell her if she does her homework for one week straight then you will buy her something little then if she does her homework straight for a month go to something big

Answer 2

You must first lead by example.

Then another thing is to take away the things that are distracting her (example..tv, toys, phone etc...) Make her learn that she has to earn the privilege of those things back by completing her work correctly and in a timely manner.

You must be consistent and stick to it and then trust me once she realizes that you are not playing games with her, she'll get to work.

Much luck and success to you and your daughter.

Answer 3

Try threatening something she really really wants. Like a game, makeup, sleepovers, or playtime. Another thing, make sure she understands the material. Sometimes kids have attendency to just sit and not ask for help.

Answer 4

I suggest you switch to a different program, then, or even consider unschooling for a while.  One of the wonderful things about homeschooling is that children usually become more motivated, because they follow their interests, and work according to their best learning style.  If something obviously isn't working,  it's time to make a change.

What would your daughter like to study?   Is she primarily a visual, auditory or kinaesthetic learner?  What are her strengths and weaknesses?  What kind of career plans or ideas does she have - assuming she's a teenager?  Ideally she should find her motivation from thoughts about her future, and be able to choose, more and more, what and how to study as she progreses through her teens.  

(If she's less than about 11 or 12, then there's no need at all for any program of formal study - she will learn from conversation and questions, primarily).

Answer 5

How old is she?  Kids don't really start to work independently, unless that's just their individual personality, until around 4th or 5th grade.  If she's below that age, yep, you'll be working side by side with her for a while.  She's likely just not developmentally ready to do so without you yet.

Answer 6

No offense meant but...

are you two smoking pot?

Pot is known for destroying motivation.

Answer 7

Perhaps the Abeka DVD program just isn't the right one for her.

What kinds of things is she interested in? Does she like science? History? Certain authors? Sometimes a unit study approach accomplishes more than a school-at-home program like Abeka DVD.

This site has some terrific unit study ideas: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/8259/uni...

One of my favorite unit study guides is the Prairie Primer - which uses the Little House series, written by Laura Ingalls Wilder.

I would also see if there are too many distractions in your daughter's work area: TV? radio (sometimes music HELPS, though!)? Pets? Other siblings?

You might also try giving her TWO things to do and then when she accomplishes them, take a break and move on.

How old is your daughter?

Answer 8

Maybe she isn't interested in this type of program and would learn better by a different method or program. Not one size fits all and sometimes you have to switch around until you find something that your child does well with. Sounds to me like she is bored with it or just isn't getting it. You should take this behavior as a sign that this is not right for her. Try some different approaches until you hit on something that interests her. The whole point of homeschooling is to have the freedoms of not having something forcefed down your throat.

Answer 9

You haven't said how old she is--that can affect the sort of strategy. Timer use is always good. Having her set up a plan for the day, maybe even according to time, could help. Being there but doing something else--your own reading, work, something--can also be helpful.

Not sure what you mean by you have the same problem at work. If you mean you are the same way, then you'll have to change yourself to have any real influence on your daughter.

Answer 10

How old is she?

I have a feeling the DVD program doesn't fit her learning style.  She most likely needs more hands-on/active learning, not just the auditory/visual component of the DVD.  I've seen those DVD's and if it was me as the student, I'd fall asleep from boredom (just me - no flames, please!).

It sounds like you both need some help focusing.  I would read some self-help books about it.  It's either that, or you both are not in the "fit" for your jobs - her's doing school work, yours doing your work.  You both could benefit from finding out your learning styles.

When I was working, I found out very quickly I was not cut out to sit at a desk.  I needed something active.  I still work best that way in my volunteer work.

Are you trying to work (from home?) while she does her schoolwork?  Perhaps there's a dynamic there that needs to be looked at.  If you give more information on your situation, perhaps we could help more.

Answer 11

Sometimes we have to let them learn the hard way. If she won't do it, and she doesn't get it done on time, she gets a zero for that paper. Not sure if she would even care since she is homeschooled, but that is one thing to try. How old is she? This many times tends to be a problem in younger kids. It will probably get better as she gets older.

Answer 12

I homeschool and I am in grade 11. I also find it hard to concentrate sometimes but if I am reminded or I think about the fact that if I dont work I will a) fail my course and/or year and then b) be behind all my friends, it sometimes helps to get me back on track.

Answer 13

It probably encourages procrastination, but to me, it always seemed more fair if I was just allowed specific breaks.  My mom would say, "Time to get started now," and I would say, "No, I really don't feel like it!" So she would say, "Okay, you have ten minutes to relax.  The you start."  So I would take that ten minutes and lay around on the couch in all its glory.  I had that time to mentally prepare and KNOW that I had a CERTAIN TIME to start.  My mom would tell me to work on my English for an hour, and I would sit and do it and keep looking at that clock just like a kid in class at school.  When that hour was up, she would let me take another ten-minute break, which I would usually spend wandering around the kitchen and eating cookies like a bump on a log.  Then she would say "Time to start again" and I'd know I was in it for another hour or two.  I had to have some sort of schedule and pretend it was necessary.  I think it was sort of along the same lines of how I used to play when I was little -- I would always pretend one of my dolls was in some sort of peril, about to fall off a cliff, but soon someone would come to save her.  In the case of school, I was just pretending to be the one in peril, knowing it would be over after a certain amount of time!

Answer 14

discipline and adderall.

Answer 15

Try setting a goal, for example, if you do well on your homework or if you do well on a project @ work, you can give yourself a small treat. My mom used to use Beanie Babies as motivation for me because I liked collecting them. As a matter of fact, I still have them to remind me of how my hard work paid off. So have a tangible, memorable award.

Answer 16

Get her in a competitive mood, so she'll be enthusiastic to finish her homework.  The way I encourage my little brother to finish his homework is by saying, "Okay, you see the long hand [of the clock]?  Once it strikes 2, I want this whole page done.  Okay, ready?  GO!"  It's like a race with time.  It really works on him.  So I think the best way is to give her a time limit to finish her homework.  And reward her if she accomplishes the task.

Answer 17

Maybe you should consider a different homeschooling method.  Here are some you may want to consider:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

Answer 18

How old is she?

My daughter is 9 and we give her an alarm to help keep her movitated. We give her a cell phone and set the alarm when it goes off so much needs to be done. We use it like a race to see how much she can get done properly in 15 miniutes. Turns it into a game and she gets it done. Flylady is so great that's where I got the idea to time her and it seems to help. She has a section for home schoolers and if you look you may find some other ideas that can help.

Answer 19

Stop schooling at home. You're recreating the school in the home and that is a big turnoff to everyone. Relax and try 'unschooling'. Your experiencing the same 'problem' at work is a red flag to your 'schooling' approach. It is not normal, nor is it natural to force feed information into a child.

Try reading 'The Homeschooling Book of Answers' by Linda Dobson. You may develop a better grasp on what homeschooling should be.  Do this before you turn your daughter off to learning completely by 'schooling' her at home. Home should feel safe and secure where parents protect you from distress and harm. By schooling at home you make the home an uncomfortable and stressful place to be. Most children would rather be in school if they are going to be subjected to the torment of 'schooling' and save the home for a safe haven away from all that schooling nonsense.  I'd toss the Abeka program and start creating your own, more natural, learning experiences.