How can I move on from the fat women I use to be?

Question

Thanks to atkins I am now 125 pounds at the height of 5'10, pretty thin but I am much happier and love the feeling of lightness and can do more active wise then I could I 330 pounds.

But being big was horrible, had rude people against me, even when I got to 250 pounds people still saw me as a cow who just ate and did nothing, that's the bad part of being big you could lose 5 pounds or so but people will look at you like you are not trying or even care.

I am a virgin and am 28 years old (amazing I know) but because of my size men didn't want me, to the point I claim myself asexual. Now that am thin and can wear a size 0 men offer me drinks, to open the doors, my male friends are shy with me and one asked me out, I oddly get better customer service no matter the gender.

Its sad, and I don't date but turn down men who have always turned me down, even the fat guys and ones bigger then me wouldn't consider me.

Its hard to date when I have never had a date at a larger size, the ones who were interested in me then were drunks, homeless men, fast men who want it fast, and so on.

What should I do?

Answer 1

You were a woman not women.  

You probably should gain some weight back.   125 at 5'10" is way too low.    

Maybe you should see a counselor if social situations make you uncomfortable.

Answer 2

You are way too thin for a woman of 5'10".  A lot of men would find that unattractive, and the men who are attracted to women so thin are often jerks who just want arm candy.  You really should gain about 25 pounds for the sake of your health, especially if you ever want to have kids.  But, obviously, do it slowly!  And do it by eating healthy food instead of junk food.

Being a virgin at 28 isn't a terrible thing as long as you know how to satisfy yourself.  Most women need to know how their orgasms work before they can get the most out of s*x with a partner.

And there's really no rush.  Dating is more fun if you have someone specific in mind, rather than dating people just because you can.  Wait until you meet someone you're interested in and date him.  

You don't say anything about what you like in a man, what kind of men attract you.  It's as if you see yourself purely as the object of other people's gaze, which happens both to big women and to very thin women.  You need to start actively looking instead of being concerned about being looked at.  

Answer 3

I wouldn't date somebody who turned me down before either. 125 is way too small for 5' 10''.

Answer 4

Okay.... I weighted 275 and now am 135.   I am 51 and did it in 13 or so months beginning in January 2007.    I am treated differently as well but have been married for 31 years to the same man.  He has loved me through out our marriage and he has never had a problem with me whether I was fat or thin.  You need to just get out and meet new people outside of your usual social circle.  I have had to deal with men hitting on me even though I have a wedding ring on.  The whole thing feels rather odd, I agree.  Good luck to you and keep trying to figure out the situation you are in.  It is just some getting use to.

Answer 5

It's time to move on. Stop seeing yourself as the person you USED to be and start seeing yourself as the person that you want to be.

You used to be "fat". Big freakin' deal.

Time to start livin' sister.

Answer 6

People can be so superficial and you need to move in better circles so you can meet a more emotionally stable man who doesn't see your size.  Try making friends with worthwhile men first and then see how it pans out.  The right man will love you for all of you.  But don't dwell on the past as you may miss a really lovely man.