How can I not care what my mom thinks?

Question

Today I (in my 50’s) put on a beige blouse and peach pants. As I was about to have breakfast. My mom is in her 80’s.

First my mom looked at me with disgust (not disgust at me but like how could you wear that outfit)

Mom: “You know I don’t like the way that looks - the blouse looks like pajamas with those pants”

Me: “I know I don’t like the way it looks either”

So then I put on beige pants and had breakfast. And after breakfast

Me: “How does it look now”

Mom: “It is up to you what you wear”

Me: “But how does it look”

Mom: “I still say the top looks like pajamas”

Me: “I can’t see that it does - what are you seeing”

Mom: “That is why I did not say anything” (and she still looked at the blouse with disgust)

Then about a half hour later my mom came into my room to ask me to look something up on the computer for her

Me: “I still cannot see how it looks like a pajama top”

Mom: “You know when I wear something you tell me the truth”

Me: “True. But tell me does it look horrible now with the beige pants

Mom: “No”

So my question: Would you care if your mom said something like that and would you still wear the top.

PS: (1) Here is what else she did today. When I was having breakfast I was watching the small TV that fits onto the dining room table my mom came in and saw the female journalist standing. The female journalist was wearing a dark black or navy blue suit. My mom says "I don’t know why she is wearing that today it is going to be hot all week - she should be wearing light weight summer colors" AND (2) And when I told my sister in front of our mom that I had purchased five blouses for our mom and our mom loved them our mom said “Oh I really did not like them,I only wore one and I am not going to wear the rest”

Answer 1

Your mother doesn't sound like she's being mean.

Obviously she doesn't realise this affects you.. Maybe you should tll her.

I think its actually nice of her to look out for you and see that you look your best

BUT you are in your 50s and you should be a little more independent. If you like the blouse, you should've worn it, don't worry what your mother says - she obviously has a differnt style to you.

And don't buy her clothes because she sounds very picky and self-styled, instead give her vouchers to stores she likes.

I think you've answered your own question but are just looking for motivation :)

Answer 2

I think it would be hard not to take any criticism from your mom to heart.  You obviously have a lot of respect for her opinion or it wouldn't bother you.  There is a time though when you have to do what pleases you.  Here something you might want to try.  Let's say you walk in with a blouse on that she doesn't like, and she tells you so.  Let her know that you value her opinion and that you usually try to follow it, but that there is just something about this top that I like and I'd like to wear it with your support.  Can we agree to disagree approach.

Answer 3

You should care what your mom says but if it's something you really like go on and wear it, she'll get over it.  She is probably trying to relate and feel needed on some level so handle her with care.  She's the only one you have and even it she frustrates you, it is a blessing to have her around.  Try asking her opinion about things that may not make you any difference but might make her feel needed and that her opinion is appreciated.

Answer 4

It's unfortunate about the tops you bought her.

As for your outfit, since I can't see it I can't really judge whether or not it looks like pajamas.  

You just have to learn to be happy with yourself, and stick to your guns.  My grandma has always hated my hair because it was long and wavy, not short and curly.  If a woman's hair is not short and curled, she hates it, and tells me this every time (no lie) that I see her.  

Also when I was young, she used to tell me that girls with muscles were ugly.  And told me that if I kept doing the things I was doing (just general play, running, etc) I'd grow up with lots of muscles and be very ugly.  That was when I was 6 or 7.  Now I'm 21 and dealing with weight issues, trying to get back down to a proper size (I'm a 14 now, aiming for 8 or 10.

AND female anchors and news reporters often don't have a choice about what they were on television.  The TV stations often get the clothes for free rental, on a weekly basis from a store in the area, and in exchange give them free advertising during the news.  Also, it's only really appropriate for the weather girl to wear something summery.  Even reporters generally must stick to the black or brown pants and dress shirt combination.

If you don't like your fashion sense just start looking at magazines, or ad campaigns, and try to get a better idea of modern fashion, and what looks good today.  Just because you are 50 doesn't mean you need to trade your life in for slacks and blouses.  

Answer 5

yes, you should care what your mom said. You should either change the blouse or a complete outfit.  But be thankful that your mom has "fashion sense" and willing to express herself the way she does!