How can I over come shyness and be more confident?

Question

Im always scared of being laughed at or made fun of so I don't talk much even with friends. Low low self esteem, I keep thinking someone will make fun of me. What can I do?

Answer 1

Know that you can't control how other people react to you, but you can control how you react to other people.  If they act like *******, then move on, they're not worthy.  

Your friends are there for practice- talk to them and build your self confidence so that you can talk to all kinds of people later on with ease.  You'll have to converse with a wide variety of people in life, and some are going to be gigantic asses to you, unfortunately (though, as an adult, I've found them to be in the minority).  

There maybe a reason they're like that- crappy childhood, stuff going on at home, jealousy of you.  If you can appeal to why they do what they do and turn it around, you can get them to befriend you.  You could ask "Are you having a bad day?"  or "You woke up on the wrong side of h**l this morning, what gives?".  If they're still douche-bags, then don't let them make their problem, your problem and move on to more pleasant people.

Answer 2

i'm the same at school. Just walk tall, head high, smile at everyone. If they don't smile back just shove it off. Who cares ay? Just Start to talk to people more. Work slowly not fast. Noone is going to laugh at you, they will be more concerned about themselves and there problems. You are not alone.  And also if someone makes fun of you.. just give them a look and smile. or say like what are you trying to achieve your not going to upset me :) and then shove it off. Come on everything they make fun about is all lies to get their friends to laugh anyway. Little sods haha. Good look friend be confident STAND TALL and be yourself

Answer 3

seriously dnt care about what ppl will think. if they make fun of you, your name is still comeing outta there mouths and there jst basically thinking about you right? there will always be haters. always. jst be kind and sweet and funny. always have a smile on your face and never put yourself down. and b4 you say something out loud say something in your head which could defintatley save you some embarassment if the wrong words come out

Answer 4

get a job where you communicate with other people

Answer 5

i reckon you are shy before people,you become nervous even between friends..

the solution is be postive that everything wil be fine, no one can make fun of me unless and until i provide them a chance for it..

people make fun of those who they know are shy, and wont able to answer them or remain unaffected by them....

make your personality and attitude bold...sometimes depends on age also..whats your age...

if you like email me :  [e-mail](mail) , [e-mail](messanger)...

hope it helps

Answer 6

I think that you should read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney.  It's a good book for people who aren't comfortable with themselves and being who they are even if you aren't introverted.  It really helps!

Answer 7

View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris  Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.

Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.

Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave.      

      People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".      

      Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.

Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger.

Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people.