How can I overcome my shame over this?

Question

A friend dropped by my place unannounced this evening because he was worried about me and wanted to check up, I had missed worked for a while and had unplugged my phone out of depression. Well, he saw something kind of bad in my apartment which I am totally ashamed about and dont know how to face him again. What can I do??

I know it's kind of vague but please help! I can't really write what he saw so please don't ask but i didn't think to put it away before he came in. It was the elephant in the room and I didn't dare put it away while he visited. Now I feel crushed.

Answer 1

If he's really your friend he is not goin to care what it was...or how bad it was... if anything yall should be able to laugh about it in the future

Answer 2

Go to the fridge and get yourself a can of harden the feck up.

If he is any kind of friend he could care less. You need to find more friends that you feel free to be who you are and do what you do around and ditch the losers that make you feel you should be ashamed of ANYTHING!  

Answer 3

He saw your crack pipe?

Answer 4

If he is truly your friend he will not judge you for whatever he saw, he is obviously concerned for you. As for how to face him, well, you have to decide in your life when you are doing whatever you are doing, would this be okay for others to see? and if not then why are you doing it ? One of the reasons you may be depressed is that you don't treat yourself well and with respect.  

Answer 5

na don't be ashmed, but have your friend and allow your friend to help you if you need it, thats what friends are for, people go through rough patches all the time, you are not alone.

Answer 6

Well I have all sorts of ideas running through my brain about what was left out for him to see.  Everything from s*x toys, drugs, a bong, dirty undies?  Anyways, if I'm right or even close to being right about any of those things I'm guessing the easiest way to face it would be to make a joke about it later.  By making fun of yourself for it you'll be letting him know that you're aware he saw it but that you don't want either of you to be uncomfortable about it in the future.  That's my best guess since I don't know what it was he saw exactly.  

EDIT:  Well, since he obviously knows exactly what's going on...why don't you just be painfully blunt and honest with him about it?  Maybe this is what you need....a reason to get help and a person who wants to help you.

Answer 7

What was it? Seriously we all want to know.

Answer 8

well im kind of confused.

he saw an elephant?

well whatever he saw, if it was in  ur home theres nothing to be ashamed about

even if if it was something horrible  and nothing is as horrible as you say it is  

Answer 9

Go to your family doctor and ask him for depression medication.

It will help you out allot.

Answer 10

lol i dont noe wat i might be but im guessin lol umm idk jst try to talk to him of course ur not going to want to talk to him after that lol everyone is like that jst give it sumtime and then talk to him :) lol

Answer 11

what did he see? its hard to answer the question if we dont know what you are so ashamed of.

i'd explain yourself!

Answer 12

wat?

Answer 13

Try EFT:

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcV...

Basically, you 'tune into' the shame (i.e. think about it and feel it) while tapping on a series of sensitive points on your forehead, chest, etc.  As you do this, the emotional issue that you're tuning into heals.  The healing is permanent too, although depending on how complex the issue is, you might have to tap on many different underlying issues that at first you hadn't even thought were causing the problem.  Read up on it.  People use it all the time to solve a limitless number of different emotional issues, many far more intense than yours.

Just to give you a peek at what the process is like, it's basically like this:

1) Think about the event and how much shame it makes you feel.

2) While still tuning into the feeling, tap on the base of your hand while saying out loud (try to say it with feeling): "Even though I have this shame, I deeply love and accept myself."  Repeat this step 2 more times.  (should take 15 seconds total)

3) While still tuning into the feeling, tap on all the points, in order, as described in the free manual and video link above.  And each time you tap on a point, at the same time, say out loud: "Shame" or any variation you might prefer (saying the phrase out loud basically helps you to continue tuning into the feeling even while the tapping might otherwise distract you).

Answer 14

Sometimes things happen for a reason...maybe this was something that he needed to see in order for you to get the help that you need.  Obviously he cares deeply about you or he wouldn't have stopped by.  I'm sure that there is little that would surprise or shock him as a physician.  If he is offering you help, take it. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and accepting it only shame in denial and rejection. As you get healthier you will start to see things differently. Good luck and stay strong.