How can I overcome the dissappointment every month?

Question

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 months now and still no positive pregnancy test! Every negative test is more and more heartbreaking. I'm really trying to be optimistic because I know it takes some couples awhile to get pregnant, but this is not how I envisioned it to be. I think that I'm not ovulating because my OPK tests for the past few months have been negative, I asked my doctor if I could try taking Clomid and he won't give me a script until we've been trying for a year! He said this because my ultrasound showed that my reproductive system was healthy and I had no signs of endometriosis or PCOS.

If you have some words of encouragement or advise I would love to hear it because I just feel a little down today.

Thanks :)

Answer 1

My husband and I have been trying for 8 months with no luck.  To make matters worse, my sister in law found out she was preggo about 4 months ago and yesterday my best friend just found out she was expecting.  Talk about a slap in the face!  All you can do is pray and know that when the time is right, it will happen.  Good luck to the both of you and know you aren't the only one!

Answer 2

My sister tried to get pregnant for a long time. After she gave up, she had three in a row.  The moral of the story is not to try too hard. Try to relax because often things happen when you least expect it.

Answer 3

HI! I know exactly what your going through. My husband and I decided to have a baby and I figured it would take maybe two months to happen...okay fast foward a year later and we were STILL trying. The heartbreak every single month was really taking a toll on both of us, it was literally all I thought about, I cant even tell you how much money I spent on pregnancy tests because I just "knew" this was the month, lol. Finally I decided to NOT think about it anymore..I know its tough to do but I just said to myself that if it happens, wonderful but Im not going to make myself depressed over it, so I gave myself another six months and just kinda forgot that we were trying...and guess what? Two months later I was pregnant! Relax for a while and just let things happen, five months isnt really all that long for trying to concieve ( I know it doesnt seem like that!) You are healthy and Im sure it will happen when it is meant to happen for you two, just dont stress and take care of yourself and before you know it hopefully you'll be pregnant! Hang in there and I really truley hope it happens for you soon!  

Answer 4

Yes, it is true that you are not considered in need of help until you have been trying for at least a year. Have you had your husband sperm count checked? I know that it must be very frustrating. As hard as this may sound - try not to think about getting pregnant. Just have s*x to have s*x. Some women try hard so many years and never get pregnant and then they adopt and when they baby gets there they become pregnant right away - it's because they had relaxed.  

Answer 5

My goodness. Five months???

Are you insane? That is by no means a long time to try for a baby. Your doctor is right, of course he won't give you a prescription for a fertility drug when there is nothing wrong with you; a year is a sensible time to try without worrying.

Relax. Take some deep breaths. Stop worrying about it. Trying for a baby is supposed to be fun. Just concentrate on that, having fun with your husband, and don't try so hard. It's incredible how many people get pregnant when they're least trying.

My mum and dad tried for about a year with my little sister-and then concieved drunk at Christmas when they weren't thinking about it, and then ended up with my twin little brother and sister on a similar occasion, just when they'd decided not to have any more...

Answer 6

I don't know if you've tried it yet, but when we were ttc i joined the message boards at americanbaby.com / parents.com   the other women there were so supportive and shared ttc tips, tricks and whatever else you could think of and it was very helpful to me during such a stressful time in our lives.  I never tried it but a lot of women there use temping and swear by it, they discovered the opks were negative because they were not ovulating when they thought they were so they weren't even taking the opk tests at the right times.  Many also got pregnant using the clear blue easy fertility monitor, but its expensive.  i listed some sites below you could try out, and a little bit about my ttc story.

good luck on your ttc journey and i hope you get your positive(BFP) very soon!

it took us about a year to get pregnant and then I had a tubal pregnancy, we got pregnant again 5 months later, and had a miscarriage.  We are now 16 almost 17 wks pregnant and doing very well this time.

Answer 7

Hey at least you have a husband how loves you enough to have a baby with you !!

Some women don't even have that !

Answer 8

I know five months seems like a long time, but it really isn't.  I know it sounds easier said than done, but try to RELAX!!!  Stress can impact your fertility.

It takes most couples on average a year or more to conceive.  Just have s*x every other day in order to increase your chances.  Bear in mind that a negative OPK test does not mean that you aren't ovulating.  

Baby dust to you!

Answer 9

People who have never had trouble trying to conceive cannot even comprehend the stress that those of us dealing with infertility go through.  So they say insensitive things like  "Oh just wait, It'll happen.  Try not to think about it.  Relax."

I've been trying for over a year.  And whether it be 3 months, 5 months or two weeks, it always feels like it's been too long.  We're programmed to think that it'll be really easy and BAM first month you're pregnant.  It doesnt work that way for everyone.  And telling someone to just "relax" is completely ridiculous.  

Good luck to you.  The only advice I could offer is to get a fertility workup on your partner.  You might also ask your doctor to do a day 21 blood work up on you.  They can confirm that way if you are actually ovulating.  Try to stay positive about the whole thing.  Also, try to find something else to occupy your time.  Distraction can be a wonderful tool while TTC.

In regards to the situation with your mother, that is really crappy and I'm sorry.  My mother-in-law asks me everytime I see her if I'm pregnant yet.  But her's is different in that she tells me how lucky I am cause she wished she could STOP getting pregnant.  If you haven't already, I'd try to sit your mom down and discuss with her what is going on with you and to ask her to stop it.  That you'll tell her when you're pregnant.  

Answer 10

Hi there

I'm only in my 2nd month of ttc but I have read up a lot on the subject and it sometimes really just takes time.

I can understand the frustration but you just have to take it as it comes and just think of it as another month to save for the baby.

I have a few days left before I can test but to be honest don't think this was my month as don't really feel any different.

Hope your month comes soon!!!! Loads of baby dust!!

EDIT: Oh, you poor thing, that's insensitive of your mother. I'm glad we haven't really told anyone we are trying to concieve as I'm afraid of the same thing happening to me. Maybe tell her you're on a break so when you do get pregnant it will be a surprise?

Answer 11

my best friend went through the exact same thing. it was very hard seeing her live her life on the "two week calendar" only to be disappointed. now that she has a beautiful healthy baby boy, she says that looking back on that time she has realized that her baby came at the most perfect time. she says that having to be patient and wait and go through the disappointment has made her a better person and better mom. she appreciates her little guy SOOOO much now that he is here. she believes that although at the time it seemed terrible, she got pregnant when she was "meant to get pregnant" and after she was pregnant it didn't seem like it took all that long to get there. it will happen, just enjoy the time with your hubby and know that everything happens when it's supposed to happen. enjoy sleeping in and only being responsible for yourself, maybe even take a little weekend trip to boost your spirits.

Answer 12

You should start charting your cycle. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ It will tell you when you ovulate.  You should bd every day or every other day about 5 days before you ovulate so that way the sperm is waiting for the egg to be released (it can live for up to 5 days).  I wouldn't stress out too much yet.  You need to try for a year before a dr would consider it a problem.  If a year comes, and still not prego, ask to be referred to a fertility specialist in your area.  

You still have plenty of time!  If you stress too much,it could mess things up. But I know how hard it is not to stress. We've been ttc for a little over 3 years now, with no luck (although I will find out tomorrow if this is the month!) We went to a specialist a year after really trying.  I think if you start charting your cycle, it will help you a lot!  Good luck!

Answer 13

Sweetie,I know how you feel.  I have also been TTC for about 5 months now and it has not happened.  To make matter worse my cousin just found out a few months ago that she has PCOS.  I have an appt. with the gyno on Sept 2. So I can see what's going on with me.  I do have 1child who I immediately got pregnant with,  we were only talking about having a baby at that time. I know God is going to bless me with another child just like he is going to bless you.  I will pray for us both.

Remember it's not about what we WANT it is about what God Wants for us. It will happen when he is ready.

Answer 14

wow...you have no PCOS or any fertility issues...luck you...yes, i mean it...many of us here are trying for more than a year with different problems like PCOS, cysts, and more. Even after trying fertility treatments it takes more than a year and you are just trying for 5months which is nothing I would say. You should start worrying about this after trying for 8 more months. This is truth.