How can I politely ask my in-laws to tell me before they bring extra guests to dinner?

Question

Yesterday my husband celebrated his birthday by inviting his brothers and a friend over for dinner and x-box. I was ready with enchiladas at 5. They called at 5:45 to say they would be here at 6:15 (this was all okay because I had a very hectic day, otherwise I would have thought that over an hour late was rude)

They called a few minutes before they came to tell us they were bringing a friend along! (It was actually the brothers friends friend and they were leaving early)

Fortunately, I had made a couple extra enchiladas, but I find this so rude- had I made hamburgers or anything else like that an uninvited, unexpected guest causes problems!

This is not the first time this has happened. I have noticed that college students think "the more the merrier" but I find it frustrating!

Ps- We had never met this guy before, and it would have been fine to invite him, but I just think it would be nice to ask a few hours ahead of time so I have time to purchase (if need be) extra ingredients.

So, how can I nicely hint that I dont want surprize dinner guests?

Answer 1

Sounds as though this might occur at any time without notice.  In the future, be sure to prepare for at least 2 more adults.  Then you will have enough food prepared and feel less stressed when you should be enjoying yourself, too.  If you have leftovers, it's good for lunch tomorrow.  If you find out too late that more than 2 are coming along, just say OK, "but please pick up some XYZ on your way over so there is enough food."

Stay cheerful and enjoy the party.

Answer 2

Lightheartidly:

" I was really feeling the stress when you surprised us by bringing (insert name)! I almost didn't make enough food. He was great! Do you mind telling me when your adding some numbers onto the guest list so I can be prepared?

Answer 3

yeah just say..hey when you come over if there are extra people can you try and tell me in advance cos it helps with my food preparation.

Yeah and if they don't then its their dessert that gets given to the unexpected person. Cos you could have made individual cheesecakes in little cups you know...

Answer 4

Honestly, I would say to them 'Come over anytime, just tell me ahead of time how many people I will be serving.'

Hope this helps, and at least give you an idea. Good luck!

Answer 5

No hinting required.  Just tell them that you must know enough ahead of time to make sure you have enough food for the extra guests.  You could also remind them that extra uninvited guests should not be the rule of the day.  Once or even twice is OK - but even that's pushing it a bit.

Answer 6

Have you husband do it, they're his parents, should be his problem.