How can I protect myself from zombies?

Question

Where would I go? How should I get there? What can I use to fight them off? Should I wear a shark suit or a chain medal suit? Help me out here I need to be prepared.

Answer 1

One hopes that when the zombies come and society as we know it inevitably breaks down, we would all react in the spirit of common brotherhood. We would reach deep, deep down inside and draw upon unforeseen reserves of human decency to protect and help one another stand strong against the plague of the unliving. And then when the government gets it's bearings, the armed forces will come together to scourge the zombies from the earth and then the healing can begin.

What I'm hoping for is that I'll have a chance to hoard some of the good **** before its too late. Folks, its great to think that when the **** comes down and the bodies start rising we'll all come together and all, but lets face it: if a bunch of able-bodied people won't give up a subway seat to a pregnant lady, we're not going to be sharing our batteries and multivitamins with any Joe Not-Zombie rolling during the apocalypse.

So when I get down to it, what am I going to hoard? Aside from the usual that is- I figure things like guns (with bullets!), bottled water, flashlights, canned foods, etc are all no-brainers. Basic survival items make sense. But what other stuff might come in handy? I've thought of a couple options. I will share this with you, as I figure when the apocalypse comes you won't be able to gank my list off the internet.

* Leather pants. 36 waist, 32 long. Why? Well, I figure the leather might make it harder for the zombies to bite into my tender leg flesh. Also, I figure that once the dead start walking and killing and eating my neighbors and all I might c**p my pants a little. Maybe even once a day! Go ahead and judge now, but don't play like you won't **** yourself when some undead guy in a clown suit kills and eats your mailman. Okay, maybe just the first time it happens. At any rate: multiple pairs of pants will be good to have, as all uncontaminated water will have to go towards...you know. Drinking it. And if these pants offer a little extra protection: so much the better.

Answer 2

You don't need protection.

Zombies walk at about 1/2 mile an hour. All you need to do is walk away from them at a normal pace. Don't try to run, if you do you will trip over something and then lay there panicked and they will get you.

At least, that is what happens in all the zombie movies.

Answer 3

Wear a steel helmet, zombies are attracted to eating brains, they wont be able to smell you're tasty brains through a steel helmet....but if worse comes to worse, if you cant beat em join em....pretend to be a zombie by  dousing yourself in the blood of a zombie and loot stores while moaning "braaaaiiinnnsss!!!"  they will think you are one of them

Answer 4

Depending on what stage of the zombie outbreak if it's not world wide the best place to stay safe is in your home. Board up windows, doors and gather supplies. If you dont have time to gather supplies, make it your first priority.

If  the out break is world wide, there is no such thing as a safe place. But the best places to be would be in remote wilderness areas.

Answer 5

I know the full proof way to protect someone from zombies. Sit down at your couch, and watch TV. I'll bet you a million dollars that NO ZOMBIES will come out to attack you while you are watching TV (or doing anything else for that matter). I hope you seriously dont believe in them.

Answer 6

Don't do anything. Just call Chuck Norris.

His number is 1-800-FIST