How can I put my mom at ease?

Question

I'm going to be a senior in high school now, and I have to get ready to put together my college applications. Recently, my mom's been worrying like crazy about my safety at college, and that I'll be away from home and all that...In fact, that's all she's been thinking about lately.

I live in DC, and she wants me to go to a university close to home like American University, Howard University, etc. But many of my friends are going there, and I DESPERATELY want to go to NYU. I've had my heart set on that school for a long time--the thought of it freaks my mom out, because she thinks NYC is unsafe...and my mom worries a lot.

How can I convince her? What can I do, because she wont' even let me apply?

Answer 1

Well you should not cut yourself short by only applying to a few uniersities.  Also consider that this is part of growing up.  Go to the college that you lik ebest and that best fits your goals in life.  Apply away from your mom so you cna grow the most and get the most out of college.

With that said it is important to be safe wherever you go.  Saftey is a result of good habits such as going out in groups and doing things in the daylight and being aware of your surroundings. But if your intent is to go to some bar at night with friends in an unsafe neighborhood or go walking at night then you are going to get into trouble.

I dont know how many times my sisters or my girlfriend love to go out alone at night drinking or with just one friend.  Its very dangerous when there are a load of idiots out there preying on women.  Women have to realize that the world is not some cozy, nice place.  This whole women independence thing gets alot of women in serious trouble. Iknow a girl hit by a train because she was talking on her cell phone and wasnt aware of her surroundings.  Its not an urban legend, it happened to my train and held us up for hours!

There are a ton of creeps out there and the best way to protect yourself is by taking appropriate precautions.

With that said. Apply to the college/s you need to to succeed and dont let your mom tell you dif.  And dont major in any bull sht majors that wont ever get you a job like Art, Dance, Music, English literature, communications etc.

good luck!

Answer 2

Hey, this is a BIG problem. And your mom didn't invent it either.

Did you ever see the movie "Real Women have Curves?" It is about this exact problem. And unfortunately the mother never comes around. But the daughter nevertheless goes off, somewhat broken hearted by her Mom's obstinacy, to New York (Columbia, not NYU).

NYU is a great university and getting better all the time. If you have your heart set on going, you should do whatever it takes. Your Mom isn't really worried; she is unable to release her control over you. Can you bring her to speak with a school counselor? Can you convince her to go to NY with you to talk to the admissions people and visit the dorms? You may at least rasie some questions in her mind about whether she is being rational or just selfish.

But don't count on it!

Certainly speak to your high school guidance counselor or college advisor by yourself. It would not surprise me to find that they have a routine solution to this problem.

A back up solution is to go to school in DC for 2 years, work really hard, build up great grades for scholarship aid, and just GO when the time comes, handling the transfer issue on your own. By that time your mom will have very little leverage.

One last thought; bring your mom (and maybe a sympathetic aunt or uncle) together, get the video of "Real Women. . " toast up some popcorn, and have movie night at home. Don't just spring this on your mom; ask her politely whether she would share this experience with you. If it's just the two of you she will be angry, but if you have some support she will really have to think about what she is doing. She will not want to be like the mom in the movie.

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

Answer 3

You live in DC and your mom thinks NYC is unsafe?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Answer 4

You could explain how attending NYU has benefits (e. g. better academic program) that you can't get if you stayed in DC.  You could also look up some stats on safety in NYC and near NYU.  Plus, there are numerous ways of traveling between NYC and DC, so you can reassure your mom that you will indeed still visit home every once in a while.

Answer 5

Show your mom the national crime stats, DC is way more dangerous than the W. Village in NYC where NYU is.

Answer 6

Be as responsible as you can show her , not just tell her that you can be trusted to be mature and make the right decision and the next time the conversation comes up remind her that she raised you to do the right thing always so she should trust in herself that she did an excellent job.

"Mama didn't raise no fool"

Answer 7

NYC would be a great experience and expand your career possibilities as well as a chance to meet/interact with others you normally wouldn't meet.

Of course you have to be careful in any big city but the crime per capita is extremely low (check it out).  The pros out way the cons.  It would be a great opportunity.

Answer 8

I'm a mom of a 16 year old. I've been realizing lately that I have to let go and trust that I've taught my child enough to act responsibly. She must have faith in the Lord. She must let her little one grow up and fly away. I wish you much luck at NYU! You must go there. Its YOUR dream for a reason and the Lord seems to be pulling you towards that direction. Talk to your mother and tell her that she's taught you well!